Personality: The Desire to Be Liked pt1

Two weeks ago I went to visit my surgeon’s office for the first time. I was extremely nervous because I did not know what to expect. Sense I was 13 I have had large breast. Finally I have great insurance coverage and if I was approved by my surgeon I would not pay a dime! When the doctor greeted me his hand shake was weak and he instantly started talking about my weight. I was shocked and hurt. He then grabbed my boobs, took pictures of them and shortly after left the room. After the hurtful visit I left heartbroken wondering if I ought to find a new surgeon. Already emotionally spent I said to myself, does his personality really matter if he will do a great job on my breast reduction?

This question I bounced around for days as I was carrying the wounds from my surgeon’s not so kind words in my head and heart. As I talked to family, friends and co-workers about getting a new surgeon I received mixed reviews. “Girl forget him and get another surgeon. He does not have good bedside manner.” Another comment was “You need to look into getting a different surgeon and see what would be the process cause I would not let that man touch my body. GOD is trying to teach you patience”. The comments that my spirit agreed with was “Tash you know how long you wanted this surgery, keep the doctor and afterwards tell him he was a jerk”. My sis said “How much more patient do you have to be to find a new doctor? You only been waiting sense you were 13”!

After prayer and meditation I came to the decision to stay. As time went by I soon forgot about the hurtful words and his lack of good bedside manner. I remember the women who referred me to him as she said he is a “perfectionist” so of course he would expect me be “perfect”. What I also kept in mind is after ten years have passed sense she had surgery she said he was excellent! So the mature and more aware Natasha said I don’t care about his personality as long as he can do his job!

When I left the doctor’s office I asked “Do you think my insurance will cover it”? “I don’t know” he said shortly after. “It could take 4-6 weeks to find out", he continued. My heart sank. I now have to wait another month in a half? My goal was to complete the surgery before the school year. I knew in my heart that the doctor would write a great letter of recommendation to my insurance company and he did! Not because he “liked me” but because he is great at what he does. Two weeks later I get a call that my insurance approved the surgery at 100% of the cost. Sure I would have liked to have a surgeon who was warm and connected, but for me personality no longer matters. I feel if you do your job good you are okay with me!