Mastering The Art of Being Alone pt1

The path to LOVE begins when you realize that separation, loneliness, and the pain of isolation are real~Deepak Chopra. I remember like it was yesterday. I was 25 years old and I just graduated from college. I lived at home with my grandparents and still searching for a job. Feeling desperate, lonely, and anxious was a everyday experience. I made a habit of finding what was wrong with me and fixing it. Feeling UNLOVABLE I constantly sought LOVE from other places outside of myself. Fearing being alone forever I constantly dreamed and prayed for a husband who would make me complete. He would make me happy! As GOD would have his way this image was broken the day I read in Essence Magazine "NO Man Can Make You Happy". I have said that line to myself over and over like most people. But until that day it never sank in. Finally reality hit! Separation became real. The pain of being by myself became real. I broke down! I cried. I became angry. I said to myself if a man can't make me happy what is the point of being in a relationship? Boy, did I have a lot to learn.

I share that story because so many people still feel deep down inside wither they want to admit it or not that they believe someone will save them from themselves. The desire for LOVE for most people is motivated by fear or fantasy. In one of my favorite books The Path To LOVE Deepak Chopra writes about how most people live with images in their heads of the fantasy relationship that no one will live up to or the fear that they are not LOVABLE at all. Both extremes is what keeps romance at bay. To master the art of being alone or in solitary we have to embrace the reality that we are the only ones that are responsible for our own happiness. The day I realized this my life has not been the same.

Happiness is subjective. It looks and feels different to different people. That is why the journey is so important to do it alone. Yes, that is right I said it. ALONE *dun dun dun*! In order for us to reach new levels in ourselves we have to spend time in solitary. Being in solitary is being in your scarce place. Spending time alone does not mean using all your time and energy wondering when your soul mate will come. Spending time alone is nurturing your spirit/soul so your soul will seek out and draw your mate to you. Understanding this will set you free! There is nothing you can do to be more attractive to a person than nurturing and LOVING yourself!

In astrology you have what is called North node and South Node. South node is what we do naturally. Our North node is the direction our soul craves for us to go. Many astrologers make South nodes to be negative and North nodes to be positive. In order to be balanced and whole beings I believe it is wise to embrace both sides, our whole selves. My South node is in Aries. This shows my independent spirit. The part of me that does not understand why the whole world wants to be in a relationship. Being a solider for Christ is natural because I am a warrior! Having my South node in Aries makes me a natural leader and gives me a desire to be first at everything! My North node is in Libra. The polar opposite! This part of me is very ideal. I see romance and beauty in everything! My soul craves peace and harmony within. I am a natural visionary under this influence and all I see is a white picket fence 2.5 kids and a dog, hahaha.

How does one embrace both? Great that you ask! This is what we master when we are alone. In solitary we seek unity within. Reconnecting to yourself, the one you abandoned for the world! Living a solitary lifestyle I can hear clearly what GOD wants from me. I can see now that it is natural for me to be alone being that my South node influence is in Aries. GOD helped me to see that there is nothing wrong with being in a LOVING relationship, but everything must be done in order. Not out of fear or desperation! My disappointment with the reality of LOVE gave me a "me against the world" attitude. Needing someone made me feel powerless and that is not a natural feeling for me. Realizing this truth gave me the power I thought I would loose. I felt empowered by being honest with myself! Coming full circle is what leads us to our North node. Finally able to embrace the negative inside yourself encourages you to be better. My soul craves unity and a solid foundation in a relationship. In order to build solid foundations we must first start within. Going into a relationship without a solid foundation within yourself is like building a house on quick sand! As soon as reality hits and issues arise as they will everything will fall apart!

Find the courage to spend time in solitary. Ask your self honest questions like "would I marry me"? Spending a season of your life alone could be just what GOD wants to take you to the next level. At the next level there will many opportunities that wait for your arrival! Next will be Mastering The Art of Being Alone pt2.