You Don’t Know Who God Has For You!

When making heavy decisions in life it is a challenge. I mean not only do we have to fight the mental chatter in our heads, but we must fight the criticism of others as well. Learning to fight the urge to please others has been a constant battle for me sense I was a little girl. This started as early as I can remember for me, probably about 8 or 9 years old. Making a decision about life in general was hard, but about dating was even harder. It seemed I asked for too much or not enough. I was too distant and men could not bond with me or I was too emotional and scared them away. Now you maybe begin to see why I shied away from dating for awhile. The funny thing is I began to date as early as 9 years old! But I was usually in control of dating who I wanted without judgment of others. Then one day that would all change.

There was this kid named Peanut in my neighborhood. Peanut was really popular, everybody knew Peanut. Everyday Peanut and four of his brothers would play basketball, touch football, kickball you name it with all the kids in the neighborhood. One day while walking up the stairs to my friend's house I noticed a group of boys sitting on the stairs. As I began to walk up the stairs I then realized the boys were Peanut and his brothers. I said hello, smiled and continued to walk. Then I heard Peanuts older brother say, "You know my brother Peanut likes you". I replied, "Me"? Wondering when in the hell did this happen? I remember looking at Peanut and he had this big smile on his face and I was scared to death! What do I say I thought to myself? Peanuts older brother said, "Do you like him"? Then out of nowhere I said, "No". My heart sank because I did not want to hurt his feelings, I just did not like him! His brother's reply was, "So you think you are too good for my brother"? Of course I didn't, but his goal was to intimidate me and he did! I said, "No" and he responded, "Well date him then". Feeling guilty I said, "Ok". From that day I have not been the same.

I share that story because it was one of the most traumatic situations that happened to me. That is why I can remember everything about that moment. It shaped the way I look at myself. It shaped the way I look at men. From that moment on I began to listen to everyone but myself on how to date men. I feared missing out on what GOD has for me, so I dated men I did not like hoping to get what I want. That is silly right? I know. My sister said to me one day, why do so many people think there are general answers to questions without knowing the persons story first? That is true, why do we do that? Today we have so many "relationship experts" who tell us who to date and not to date. What most folks do not take into consideration is our personal story. That one small thing can change how dating will be different from one person to the next person.

I believe the whole concept of someone not knowing who GOD has for them is tricky. To me it's like saying, you will not get what you want, so be happy AND grateful for second best!!! For example when I say I don't see myself dating a white man I hear, "You don't know who GOD has for you". What about I only date men older than I am because I need a man who is mature I hear, "You don't know who GOD has for you". Or even worse your friend is trying to hook you up with a guy you do not feel a connection with and she is pushing you into feeling this guy she says, you guessed it, "You don't know who GOD has for you". I believe this type of philosophy is what will keep us from our destiny! STOP listening to men or women who don't know your story, but will be arrogant enough to give you advice! Listen to your heart because that's where GOD is. In the scriptures it says that in our hearts GOD resides. So if we listen to our hearts how can we not know what GOD has for us? See we spend so much time striving to get people to co-sign what we believe we forget to take it to GOD in prayer!

When I was 12 I did not know better. I did not believe in myself because I was reminded everyday how different I was. The devil keeps us from our purpose by planting seeds of doubts in our mind. He also uses people to confirm those doubts in our mind that we already feel about ourselves. This is why we must strengthen ourselves. You will NEVER know everything there is to know about life. But one thing is for sure if you know yourself and GOD it will be very difficult for a man to come in your life who was not sent from GOD! When we are in a space of acceptance of who we are our minds will be at peace. No more confusion and doubt! Your vision will be clear and decisions will be made with a "no" and the guilt will be long gone! Sure no one knows who GOD has for them, but do not allow that to truth keep you from following your heart! Know that it's ok to be wrong and to change your mind. Free yourself and let GOD be your guide!