It Starts and End With YOU!

Reaching toward your own light can be scary, especially if you're used to living in the shadows of everyone else. I am a hard worker. I am a bit of a perfectionist. And I have a habit of making others larger than life. Sense I was a baby I found comfort in feeling like everyone else was better than I was. I wanted to be them and even more than that seek their approval. A few years ago I became tired and bored of constantly living through others. So I challenged myself to live in the now! That is what I did; I started enjoying my life where it is right now. What I did not master until Friday night is putting people on pedestal. What GOD wants for me is the same he wants for you, to walk into your greatness. You first have to know that you are great!

My aha moment came Friday night when I sat and listened to my hero Iyanla Vanzant speak. When Iyanla shared her story the façade faded. When she went to the stage she had a slight limp. You saw before you a woman who has been through a lot and by the grace of GOD was alive to share her story. I was not prepared for the lesson I would learn that night. I thought I would learn to take on the world and have many notes I would post on twitter and facebook. But what happened was totally different. The lessons I learned were not sexy, they were real.

Iyanla human side glowed Friday night. She confessed to everyone that she did not LOVE who she was. While in 2003 when I was reading Iyanla's work and applying these truths to my life she was dealing with a married man. I never would have painted that picture of her while reading her book. In my perception of her she had mastered self-discipline, and was at a point in her life where she was teaching us what she had learned along the way. I did not know she was still on that journey herself. Iyanla said in an interview her lowest moment helped her to put to practice what she had been teaching all along.

The most insight I received that night was while Iyanla was learning the tools she wrote about in her books, I had already mastered them! Yes me, the student, the mentee, the grasshopper. I listened, I watched, I studied and then I lived it. I broke four generational curses that I am aware of on my mother's side of the family. See before Friday night I would have given credit for my growth to Iyanla, to my pastor or my grandparents, but at the end of the day it starts and ends with me. What GOD has helped me to understand is that the women who came before me had a great life, but if I learn from them I will be even greater! My legacy will be my own. Your legacy will be your own.

Imagine Harriet Tubman as she is leading the pack of slaves to freedom. Imagine Coretta Scott King as she walks side by side with her husband the great Dr. Martin Luther King. Now imagine yourself. What are you doing? Are you still living in their shadows or coming out and creating your own legacy? These women had their own lives to lead, their own lessons to learn. Now it is time for us to learn ours. It's time we draw strength from them so their lives will not be in vain.

My nieces and nephews, students, mentees and future children will be even greater than I am due to what I had to endure. They will start a legacy of their own. What was tough for me will be easier for them. Why? It is because they will learn from my mistakes and will be better than I was. That is the legacy that I strive for now. I strive to build my own brand and in 30 years for a young women to tell me how my book has changed her life.