Home For The Holidays

Some may not know, but in 2007 Washington D.C. became my new home. My beloved new hometown, I am very grateful to God for the opportunity to follow my dreams and relocate Washington D.C. area. And the transition was not a smooth one; I cried for two years straight when I moved from Oklahoma City. OKC has been my home since I was eight years old. I left behind my grandparents who raised me from birth, my twin sister, two nieces and two nephews, and many friends. My heart was heavy, but I knew the life God called for me I needed to relocate and that's what I did! That is why coming home for the holidays is that much more meaningful being how much I miss being with my loved ones.

What coming home has taught me this year is that we can be completely healed, removed and transformed from negative family patterns. See coming home does not mean all laughter, no tears from pain and disappointing moments, it means that your love for family is greater than any negative energy. Besides isn't that what the meaning of love is?

Three years ago I would have played the victim, withdrawn and completed held a grudge my entire vacation after the news I received just a day after being back home. But my new relationship with Christ I knew that he was in control. I have learned to pick my battles and have become a peaceful warrior. Being raised in an environment with addictions, neglect, abandonment issues to name a few, I have already been to the bottom. Being healed I only seek being at the top! When I enter dark spaces I want to be that candle burning light! I know I have been reborn. I am not the child my mom gave birth to that came into an environment of sickness, self-hate, depression, and lack of emotions. I am born again, new, whole, complete; the child of God HE created me to be!

Music Mondays: O'Jays - I Can Hardly Wait 'Til Christmas

My grandparents raised me from the moment I left the hospital; they are who I call mom and dad. My biological mother's parents stepped up to the plate and I am forever grateful for them. Being a sensitive child, as teen I shut down and closed off my heart to most, specifically my mother. When my biological mother made a rare visit home I would go to my room and shut the door, the only way we would bound is through music. One day I played O'Jays "I Can Hardly Wait 'Til Christmas" video in my room. Once my mom heard it through my bedroom door, she knocked and asked would I play it again. I must have played the song a million times that day.

That is why music is such an important part of my life because it helps comfort me at a time when I feel alone. This is the song my mother and I share as our favorite and I want to share it with you this Christmas Eve. Remember the excitement of opening gifts and playing with your new toys? Staying up late from excitement of the next day? As an adult I still can't wait 'til Christmas to honor the birth of Christ and share love with family and friends. I hope you enjoy one of my favorite Christmas songs ever "I Can Hardly Wait 'Til Christmas".

Music Mondays: Fred Hammond & RFC - You Are the Living Word

"Jesus Jesus, that's what we call you, manger born, put on a tree,you died to save humanity"

No words can express my love and gratitude for the life of my savior, Jesus Christ. Born in a manger, sent to save you and me. At a difficult time like it is now in the wake of the Newton CT shooting, I seek hope through my Lord and savior. While it is difficult to celebrate Christmas when you think about parents who lost their little precious babies this past Friday. As I cried and cried trying to make sense out of what happened, nothing made sense. As a teacher I easily put myself in the position of the teachers who faced death on Friday. My heart goes out to them as I send a prayer and make a vow to live a peaceful and loving life in their honor. That is what Christmas is all about to me, it is about love, peace, joy in a world full of darkness. Join me in listening to one of my favorite gospel songs "You Are the Living Word" by Fred Hammond.

Music Mondays: Mary Mary - "Carol of the Bells"

Getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of the Holiday season where we are concerned with getting the tree, buying gifts and preparing to travel; we have to stop and remember the reason for this joyous season. The reason for Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. The beautiful harmonies of Mary Mary on "Carol of The Bells" does just that! Gospel group Mary Mary adds a soulful melody to this famous Christmas song. Personally one of my favorites on their Christmas album. Add this great Holiday CD to your collection and enjoy with family this Christmas season.

Music Mondays: Ledisi - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

First of all if you have not heard Ledisi's Christmas album you are missing a treat. On Ledisi's "It's Christmas" album she sings some original Holiday songs and also she sings some Holiday favorites. One of the favorites she sings is "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" in which Ledisi brings her rich vocals to the track. As soon as the song begins Ledisi starts off with blended, perfect harmonies giving the timeless classic her personal twist. To help you get in the Holiday spirit, here is Ledisi "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas".

Music Mondays: Faith Evans - O Come All The Faithful

Feliz Navidad! Ha, Happy Holiday season to you. Yes, I know we just finished celebrating Thanksgiving; I bet you probably are still finding how many ways you can eat turkey left over’s. You know: turkey salad, turkey soap, turkey sandwich, turkey, turkey, turkey! I have moved on from Thanksgiving wanting to create my own Christmas spirit. Like some of you I live alone, far away from close family. Being away from home can be tough during the holiday season making it that much harder to be in the Holiday spirit. So my mission this year is to create the joy of Christmas by posting a Christmas song every week until the week of Christmas. Please feel free to add a song for me to add to the blog. Is Christmas your favorite holiday too? What special holidays do you celebrate in your home?

Sexuality

Capacity for sexual feelings or sexual activity is one of many definitions to describe sexuality. What better way to end Scorpio Season (Happy Birthday fellow Scorps) then to talk about sexuality? To me sexuality simply means being fully aware of our sensual selves. Sexuality is having an innate sense of sexual energy that is natural as breathing. Sexual activity speaks for itself. When having sex our sexuality is heightened in the act making us feel connected to our erotic natures. What I want to highlight is that there is a misconception that having sex makes you a vixen and in touch with your sexuality. Far from the truth! While being sexually active heightens one’s sexuality, the act itself does not give you automatic sex appeal. You have to feel connected to your sexual self before having sex. For those who have had sexual intercourse at an uncertain time in their lives spoke of having “bad” sex. “Bad” sex is a matter of perspective, but not enjoying exchange of being with your partner due to insecurities and fears is not sexy! Many people take their insecurities with them into the bedroom. Releasing our fears, body image concerns, guilt, and shame frees up inner tension and inhibitions that we have making sex that much greater.

I remember the day I began to feel connected to my sexual energy. Being a virgin people are still taken aback by this; my simple answer is sexuality is within. See, I am a Scorpio woman. Sex is like breathing to me and a sacred act, hence why I am waiting for my divine mate to join me before having sex. Connecting to our sexual energy is different for each of us, for me it meant being soft and feminine. I take long bubble baths with candles, music and afterwards I put on scented lotion and perfume. That makes me feel in touch with my goddess energy. Not by having sex, but seduction, setting the mood. Knowing this I am ready for sex because I am no longer afraid to admit to taboos or express my sexual nature.

Sex is a choice. When we are emotionally mature enough to handle the good, bad, and ugly of sex, I believe we are ready to engage in the act. The pressure to have sex is not just among teenagers, but adults too! We have to embrace our lives on this journey called life and know it will not look like anyone else’s. If your life looks like someone else you may not be on your chosen path! Sexuality is creativity in pure form. Raw energy not tainted by imagery, our own opinions or the opinions of others, but unleashing whatever you feel inside! Getting past our own misconceptions about sexuality helps us to create a better reality for ourselves. We do not have to live within the limitations that are placed on us from society or what we place on ourselves. Accept those whose sexual expression is different from yours. Go deep, release hidden fears, and live life responsibly as the sexual human being you are!

*PS Emotional trauma due to sexual abuse is a serious issue. If you have been a victim of sexual abuse and it is holding you back from your best self get professional help.