It is a natural instinct to want to fit in. Human desire is to feel accepted and LOVED unconditionally. The constant need of approval gets the best of us. At times that desire comes at a high cost. We ignore what our soul desires, and allow fear to lead us. Because of fear of rejection we give in, we give up, we find ourselves living for everyone else except ourselves. Really it is understandable, who wants to feel rejection? Not me! Even though I know the truth is we are not rejected when we accpet ourselves. But I am human. So at times it feels easier to swallow our pride and be like everyone else.
Being different is what most people say is an admirable trait for someone to have. You know, being yourself is what will make people like you in the end. But so many people do not support individuals who have the courage to stand out and be different. Look at our society for example. If you are gay, a minority (race or gender)or a different religion you have to constantly prove that you are still great inspite of your differences. Why is it so tough for some of us to support someone whose life isn't what would work for us? Is it fear? Control issues? In order to bring healing to our world we have to deal with these very areas that divide us. Being open to everyone differences takes growth. For me personally it is a Christ-like quality.
Deciding to be a virgin in 2010 is looked down on. When I let someone know that I am waiting for marriage I get so many crazy questions and understandably so. I am different. I get flooded with questions like, why would you wait? It's 2010, things are so different now than they were back in the Bible days. Would if he(husband) is not good in bed? Or my favorite, are you sure you can wait until marriage? I answer all of the questions honestly, and sincere. But deep down inside I feel like it is sad that I am looked down upon because I had the courage to stand up for what I believe in!
LOVE means acceptance. Accepting others for who they are and not what we want them to be. Acceptance is what we yearn for at the core of our beings. That's OK. Watching MTV last night I was brought to tears watching a show called "If You Knew Me". Everyone at this Highschool from staff to students said things about themselves that no one knew. Imagine the fear that ran through them as they spoke their personal truths. As they told their story. What touched me the most was when a young boy at 16 spoke about being gay and his parents said that he will go to hell. All of the young people around him cried and showed support. Probably the most support he has ever had his whole life! In that moment being different was OK. He was himself, he was free!
Really, we are not as different as our ego wants us to believe. Yes, we are individuals with our own stories and past. But we all want to know that inspite of who we are their is someone who will say it's OK. It's OK to be you. Unique and whole. As your are. Special in GOD eyes and mine. How did that make you feel reading that? The next time you feel like your not LOVED, remember the best way to get LOVE is to show it to someone else!
I love this piece. We all need to learn how to be ourselves and to know that its ok. I wish a lot of young black woman in our society felt this way.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for commenting sis! Yes, that is my prayer that their is healing in black communities. As black women if we do not learn to LOVE ans support each other we are going to continue to live in a world where there is no peace just a lot of pain.
ReplyDeleteI know all too much about this Natasha. It takes admirable strength to withstand the pressures of society and the outside world. We must be forever true to ourselves though. By trying to fit in we only deceive ourselves, and in the end gets us nowhere. After this, we usually spend countless times trying to find ourselves again, is it worth it? Of course not.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful piece. I once wrote a piece similar to this many months ago over by my place. You should stop by and follow, like I will follow you :) come to: http://climbreachachieve.blogspot.com
I also have another blog which you may enjoy, http://stu-dentdiaries.com
Hope to see you.
GOD bless you Patrice! Thank you for stoping by. I already follow your blog climb, but I need to visit it has been a while. I will check out and follow the second one.
ReplyDeleteIt means a lot that your stopped by my blog. You are so right, it is defeating to allow everyone elses opinion to matter more than what we think of ourselves.