BIG GIRL IN A small MINDED WORLD

I am fat. I have been fat my whole life. Every time I say this to someone I know they say "no your not you just have large breast". Why is it hard for most people to admit that they are fat? I am embracing this truth today. In order for me to make a break through with my weight loss I have to fully accept me for who I am. This is challenging living in a world that wants you to shrink by the idea of embracing being fat. The myth is that being fat means hiding at home all day afraid to leave your home. It means eating everything all day non stop. Being fat means being unhealthy. What is the most hurtful for me is that being fat means you are not attractive. So the chances of me meeting a man that I find attractive and he feels the same about me is rare. The thing is being fat is no longer an issue for me. My issue is how the world responds to me being a fat person.

The first thing a person thinks about when concerning a fat person is their health. This is a valid concern. I am concerned about my health too. Being skinny does not equal healthy. Being skinny just means, being skinny LMBO! Is 50 cent healthy after losing 54lbs in 9 weeks? NO! But he is skinny. A persons health is not necessarily related to their weight. I am pro-health. I have lost 16lbs this year sense I started my weight loss challenge months ago. My purpose is to have a healthy self-image that will influence better habits. Having a healthy self-image is what leads to a healthier lifestyle. If I feel good about who I am right now, my future will be that much greater. But if I hold on to the idea that skinny equals better I will be fighting a losing battle my whole life. And so will anyone else striving to come to peace with being big in a small minded world.

In Essence magazine years ago there was a poll given on the amount of black men who date big women. You may or may not be surprised by the result. According to the poll only 5% of black men date big women. Only 5%? DAMN!!! I am supportive of choices and having the courage to date who our heart desires. Reading this broke my heart. It is already said that there is a black man shortage, now only 5% of of that male shortage are going to want me. Okay, so that is actually funny. My point is that big women are not desirable. We are grouped together as asexual and looked at as friends, Aunts, and so forth. This small minded outlook is what keeps me single. Yes, I want to lose weight but I am fat now! When going out I already tell myself he will not like me because I am fat. I know what we think will manifest in our life. I am not thinking negatively, I am being real. Do I physic myself out sometimes? Yes! But I actually want to be proven wrong in this case:) Of course I know that there are men who LOVE big girls. GOD bless them, but that does not change the fact that most men are not attracted to big women. Being judged for what you look like and not who you are is a constant complaint from women about men. The only answer I get is that men are shallow. So I am supposed to accept him for who he is, but I have to lose 30 lbs for him to ask me on a date. This is very small minded. I want someone to LOVE me at my worst or he will not deserve my best.

In society to be fat, plus size, or consider a big person is negative. I mean who wants to be fat? There are limited images supporting beautiful women of different body types when looking on t.v, magazines, and in Hollywood. The media is an easy target. What about our neighbors, our friends? This is what society does not want to admit. We live in a weight phobia society. Weight ism is just as powerful as racism, sexism, or any other ism. The fat person is always laughed at. Insecure women find fat women as easy bait. The criticism is high among women who obviously have issues within themselves. When a women calls a women fat who looks just like her I am confused. That is what it means to have bad body imagine. It's deeper than being fat! It is years and years of being told you have to loose 20 lbs for this or that. It's being told in elementary school that your smaller friend looks better than you. It's getting stares when you go out. It's the fat girl jokes by people who say they are your friends.

In order for a women to embrace the idea of being fat that means she has to have the courage to go against the grain. To embrace who she is, even if only 5% of the black men in the world agrees. There comes a time in every grown women's life that she has to greet herself at her own mirror. Not the world's. Having the courage to say I am fat. Stop beating everyone to the punch with criticism of your weight so you won't be hurt or embarrassed. Tell someone that it hurts when they are critical of people who are fat, and to grow up! If we are going to have a healthy self-image we have to make sure the people around us reflect what that is. Being a big girl in a small minded world is a constant reminder of that I am fat. Instead of allowing that truth to make me feel inferior, I now use it as a strength. I am who I am. LOVE me or leave me alone!