Why Fathers Are Important

My maternal grandfather is the only father I really know. I was born to a mother who dropped out the 9th grade when she was pregnant at 15. My father was 20 at the time and active in the Navy. My grandfather was also in the Navy stationed on the same ship as my father, hints how my parents actually met. At the time my mom hit the streets hard and only dated older men in the military. My father thought my mom was older and they began to date LOOSELY! When my father found out my mother was pregnant he wanted to get married. My mother, not so much.

My father was active in my life until I was three years old. My grandfather moved the family because he was transferred to San Diego. My father remained in Oakland. That's when it all began.

To say that grandparents saved my life would be unjust. They did so much more than I can explain. My parents were very immature and were in no way fit to parent.

My father married and had two more children. I remember calling him and my step mom in the back round trying to get my father off the phone. Shortly he would get off. I thought, what a coward to let a women run your life.

At 12 I would reunite with my father. He had divorced his wife due to his battle with drugs. I remember seeing him and struggle was all over his face. He looked like he had a hard life. I did not know if I was to call him dad or by his name. I choose the latter.

Randy and I would work on our relationship. Due to his battle with drugs it never really worked. His sobriety was short lived and all I would hear is "He doing good" when I would ask my family how my father was doing. Good I thought. Then why hasn't he called? Of course that was all a lie. And I think the reason he continue to dig himself a deeper whole, but I digress.

My father continued to battle with drugs for most of my childhood into my adult life. I have seen what abuse and neglect can do to a family. The pain hurts more than the user. The forgotten victims are the children.

Birthdays gone, no phone calls, broken promises and decade of tears. That is my life. Most people do not know this because I refused to allow others bad choices to become mine own. I was going to break the curse. And I did! Bless the LORD! I had years and years of healing and that journey will never end.

As for my father he is sober now. He has been clean for a year and for the first time in my life he is present. I mean fully aware, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Why father's are important? At 32 I can call my father and talk about relationships. I can tell him about my job and ask what should I do. Catch up on what GOD is doing in his life and gaining strength knowing how much I have helped him. I now know I can be a LOVING, warm, nurturing wife because I restored the relationship with my father. I thank GOD for this, because I know it was not my fathers doing nor my own. It was my heavenly father who joined us together.