Follow Your Heart

What I know for sure is that allowing others to dictate your future is a guaranteed failure. Stepping out on faith and doing what your heart says to do at times can be a very lonely and scary experience. There are times in life where no one will see the vision GOD has on your life but you. At any moment your heart will ask of you to do the very thing you fear. To fully experience everything this life has to offer we must start with our own heart. When you are disconnected from within it allows others to come into your life and talk you out of your personal truth! The older saints in church have a saying "I am glad that I know, that I know, that I know, that I know". It is simply saying I trust and believe in the truth that comes from my heart! It is the comfort of knowing that GOD lives in my heart and he is my guide. When no one else sees what GOD is doing in my life, I do not lose hope because I see it! I have learned to speak up for myself and honor my truth, by doing that I have strengthened my faith in myself. Find peace with the voice inside you. Let that voice heal you and keep you as you go through life. You cannot go wrong when you follow your heart! Do not allow the judgments of others to keep you from doing what your heart says. Reflect, pray, fast and meditate on what your life purpose is. Move forward with that peace of staying true to what your purpose is even if that means going alone. Following your heart at times is a lonely walk, but your heart will be at peace.

Music Monday’s: Inspiration Mix

Music soothes the soul. The melody and lyrics have a way of meeting your needs emotionally that nothing else compares to. Listening to a song that "speaks" directly to you has a profound effect on our well being. Understanding this need I decided to make an inspiration mix for myself. The spirit needs to be soothed and nurtured. What better way to do that than with music! This is a mix that I put on my MP3 player for myself and I want to share it with you.

 

What songs inspire you? Share them with me. There are many more songs to add to the list. Here are a few I picked. Hope you enjoyJ

 

"And You Don't Stop" by Kelly Price

"Walking" by Mary Mary

"This is Me" by Kierra Sheard

"Be Happy" by Mary J. Blige

"LOVE" by Carmen Rodgers

"Spring Summer Feeling" by Jill Scott

"Happy Face" by Destiny's Child

"Future" by Musiq

"Golden" by Jill Scott
 

Music Mondays: Chris Brown feat. Benny Benassi - Beautiful People

This video has given me life! Chris Brown has footage of him working with different artist in the music industry, private footage of himself and also his fans. My favorite verse is: "Your beauty is inside you...don't let them bring you down"! Allow that to inspire you this Monday morning:) Blessed day Beautiful People!

Winter and Depression

Winter brings thirty degree weather, snow every other week, and shorter days with longer nights. That gives us all the reason to not want to go outside. Some do not even want to get out of bed. The winter can be a depressing time of year. It can be a lonely time as we sit in our homes in isolation from the world. According to Dr. Michael Bernard he says the winter season calls for "introspective time", as we sit indoors we need to use this to our advantage. Instead of feeling the "winter blues" embrace the moment and listen to what Spirit wants from you in this season.

 

I have learned to listen to Spirit. It is the knowing within that soothes when you feel uncertain. In the moment I am afraid to speak up my Spirit says speak your truth. I would not know what that truth is without introspection. I am one of those few folks who actually enjoy being home on Saturday evenings alone. Spending time alone is a great way for us to have a deeper connection to who we are. What it is our soul yearns for will be clear when you sit and listen. For the bible speaks about listening for understanding. Mark 4:9 says: "Anyone who is willing to hear should listen and understand." We have to train our hearts and mind to listen not just for answers but also understanding. Understanding of what GOD is saying to you, now, in the moment.

 

Through introspection I have learned that during this winter season I feel low. It is easy for me to cancel plans and just decide to stay home. I can't seem to get enough sleep and all I crave are sweets. Striving to lose weight, craving sweets and not being motivated to work out is not a feeling anyone wants to have. Through prayer and meditation I have learned to be kind to myself. To give myself what I want and move on! If my body says I want a day off from a work out? Ok, done. When I crave sweets instead of beating myself up like I did in the past I go and get what I want. Is it every day? NO, of course not, but taking the time to listen to my body I treat it good. When it needs a boost of energy I have a great workout. That's my sign I made the right choice. Last week I pushed myself to work out when I was tired and I had to sit down because my head started to spin. My lesson was not to just listen, but understand that I am not a machine.

 

Seasonal Affective Disorder also known as SAD is a disorder diagnosed in people who feel depressed during the winter season. It is said to start around the end of fall and last until the spring. Symptoms of this disorder are lack of energy, increase need for sleep, craving sweets, and weight gain. Research shows that this pattern begins in the fall and peak during the winter. By the spring mild symptoms will go away. Servere symptoms are depression where there is a lack of motivation to get out of the bed. When SAD is at its worst people have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. About 70-80% of SAD victims are women, and in most cases in their thirties.

 

If any of those systems describes how you feel this winter then seek help. In mild cases you can do introspection by meditation and prayer. I started a candle lighting prayer and meditation for myself this winter. All the lights are out in my apartment and the only light is glowing from one candle. That helps me to get my heart, mind and spirit on one accord. It also slows my body and mind down so I can try to get a good rest. To help me wake up I am going to begin to use a bright light by my bed to give me the boost I need for the day. You can read books on subjects that are related to your symptoms. To be empowered is to be informed! Use this winter season to be self aware. Instead of running from the dark, go towards it. What is it you fear? Confess what you feel and watch your life begin to heal. What are your dreams? What does your heart desire? Write down your revelations about yourself and your new outlook on the world.

In severe cases (mild if you feel the need) see a Dr. Describe your symptoms so you can get help. There are different types of therapies and know you are not alone! Get a counselor and tell them what you have noticed about yourself sense the seasons have changed. Being depressed, feeling low, or simply feeling hopeless does not have to take over your life! Strive to find joy in your darkest hour. Of course everyone wants it to be spring because most of us can not deal with life when it gets dark. We want the success that comes with coming out of the dark, but not the heart ache and pain it takes to go through it! Know my brothers and sisters that what we invest ourselves in during the winter will manifest in the spring!

Tell Your Story!

I was raised in the hood or urban living as a friend of mine told me yesterday. So dating a crip was normal. That is why til this day I have a weakness for hood dudes. Shout out to 50 Cent!!! So at 8 years old I had a boyfriend. It was normal. In the hood you kinda grow up fast. Although I was in Oklahoma City, the hood is the hood. Period. One of my first friends that I met when I moved to Oklahoma at 8 had seven brothers and sisters. All her brothers sold drugs. Dad was not around(I think he died out in the streets), so her brothers took care of everyone. My friend's sister was 19 and had 5 kids! You read that right. Her first baby was born when she was only 13! My grandmother did not want us to be around these types of influeneces so she went and found girls in our neighborhood who were straight laced. They were in highschool, no babies and had dreams of college.

What I admire about my gradnmother is she knew that she was not a postive role model. So she went out and found girls she wanted to be role models for my sisters and I. Looking back she was very smart for this!

At nine years old I was introduced to Sharrie. She was pretty, played ball in highschool and was popular. To make extra money she would baby sit my sister and I. We would go up to this rec center called Foster Center. That would become my second home. There I was embraced by everyone. They knew my grandparents raised me and wanted to help in some way. This is why I have so much LOVE for inner city communities. There is LOVE there. I am a product of it. Ms. J (RIP) was the manager and wanted to take my sister and I under her wing.

At ten Ms. J showed me things outside the hood. I went to her home that she bought on her own at 36! She began to build her new home in a town called Edmond Oklahoma. At that time no one black lived there. It was an affluent community, only the wealthy lived there. Which happened to be all white. Blacks begin to pour in and wanting a better life outside of Oklahoma City.

I remember going up to Ms. J's house that she was building from stratch. She said something I will never forget. If you go to college you can get a house like this. Coming from a family that just lost their home and moved into a apartment complex, I felt I had hope. School? Where do I sign up I said to myself. From that point on I wanted to go to college. So one day I can have a nice home. Oddly enough the college I graudated from was in Edmond Oklahoma. Thank you Ms. J!

Then there was the other influence, my peers. Girls giving head in the 5th grade was talked about. They were my friends. My closest friend in the 7th grade had a baby at 12. She hid it from me because she knew that I would not think that was ok. See, I was considered the "good girl" then. Wanting to fit in was something I wanted badly. Although I was told "men don't want fast girls", I seen they did with my own eyes. So I was often confused, but wanting to be a "good girl" I kept my legs closed and my eyes open!

What has influenced me the most was in my home. Most people do not know that both my mom and grandmother battled alcohol my whole childhood. It robbed me of my peace, stablity and most of all feeling LOVED. My mom gave birth to twin girls at 16years old. From the moment she gave birth to me and my twin sis she was not around. My father was 20 and wanted to get married but my mom was cool on that. So my mom's parents raised me.

I remember seeing my mom come home with one suitcase because the man she thought LOVED her did not LOVE her any more. My grandmother would let her come home, she would stay for three weeks maybe a year. Then she was gone and I never seen her until another man decided that he did not want her living with him any more. My mom would swear she never had sex with these men who took care of her. My sister and I would just laugh. We were mature for our age. So we knew a man will not take care of you, let you live in his house and not get no coochie. Sorry! The fact my mother was not comfortable with her sexuality was why she was a victim. Also she would lie and say my grandmother "took" her children away from her. These said men would call my grandmother upset, only to find out the truth. She was then sit home living in the same house with the children she abandoned.

Abandonment is real for me. My fear of being hurt runs deep. So I told myself at 15 I would only have sex with a man I knew that LOVED me. Not feeling LOVE at home I wanted that in a man. I then decided at 20 that waiting to have sex until marriage was best practice for me. Being how emotionally fragile I am and loyal to a fault. I am not going to run after a man and forget what my purpose is. I knew GOD had a plan for me from 10 years old although my environment was rough. I did not want anyone to get in the way of that. So I am 32 and still a virgin!

Struggling through all of my history, I had to find peace. My soul craved it! So I would run to the church. I learned a lot by going to church. I LOVE church and it's fellowship is what GOD designed it for. I had to build a bridge between the streets from which I came and church where I am in the present. I did not want to knock anyone because I know what it is like to come from a emotionally empty childhood. It's easy to give in and to give up!

One day I went to a pinic with my sister in Christ from church. I was 23 and heavy into the word. I just started having a personal relationship with GOD. My sister in Christ told me of her cousin who is a prophet. Instantly I wanted to talk to him. I LOVE to hear a word from GOD. I LOVE things that are not seen but felt. So I walked up to the brotha and the first thing he said is stay sweet. Do not change. He spoke to many issues, but one stood out. He said, "do you have a boyfriend?" I said "no". He then said "Do not date. GOD said you are better single because he can use your life. In a relationship you would give everything to that man and forget about GOD." I did not get upset like, what? Be single. I had peace right away! I knew that my life was set apart. So GOD can use my life, my story to be a help to others. For me to live for GOD fatithfully and fully until my husband arrives.

My story is about being lost and found. Confused and then recieving clarity. Know what your purpose is. Why is GOD taking you through what he is? I would not change my oast because it has made me who I am. I praise GOD for my mother and father. And a special place forever for my grandparents. My childhood was tough, but you would never tell by my grace. Allow your story to heal you. Tell your story!

Color of LOVE

As a little girl red was my favorite color. My grandmother would buy me a red colored outfit and my twin sister a blue colored outfit. I don't know if that had anything to do with why red is my favorite color, but I always loved the color red. I stumbled across a color personality test that asked what color describes you? I though it would be an exciting quiz so I took it. I found out that by having red as my favorite color I was a passionate person who has deep LOVES (meaning I can get crazy lol). I thought wow all that just from a color?

The color red according to wikipedia is a color associated with bravery, purity, happiness, good luck, heat/fire, energy, and blood. The emotional words connected with the color red is anger, passion, LOVE, pain, and sacrifice. In nature astrologers call the planet Mars Red Planet due to its reddish color. If you are a big astrology person like myself you know that Scorpio (which is my sun sign)and Aries are represented by planet Mars. These two signs are called the passion signs. Aries are seen as aggressive and quick to get angry and Scorpios are passionate in nature and has a tendency to LOVE too deeply and become jealous. Red can be seen as a dark color in nature that people like myself can relate to.

I am naturally a passionate person. I LOVE 365 a year. There was a time I felt guilty about having this type of personality. Yes, I was told I am too nice because I wear my heart on my sleeve! Instead of just saying I LOVE someone I showed them. Very intense I always felt the need to speak my truth with LOVE. So it makes sense that red is my favorite color because I believe it describes me very well.

Today is Valentines Day and this is the day we are to celebrate LOVE. When the valentine season comes everywhere you look you see the color red representing flowers, the cover of heart shaped chocolate box, and pro-flowers is even adding a beautiful red vase with their flowers this year for Valentines day. So it is clear that today is the day we celebrate the color of LOVE. Showing LOVE is not limited to just a romantic partner. It is showing LOVE for your parents. Your brothers and sisters. Your true friends. Also a stranger for LOVE means to show compassion! Today express LOVE at its highest power for in the Bible it says in Mark 12:29-31 The most important commandment is this:'Hear, O Israel! The Lord our GOD is the one and only Lord. And you must LOVE the Lord your GOD with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength'. The second is equally important: 'LOVE your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these. As people are going out spending time with their mates you don't have to feel alone if you are single. Call that Aunt or cousin you have not heard from in a while. Take yourself out for the day. Call your friends and go out tonight! Most important know that LOVE is 365 not just one day a year.

So how will you show LOVE today? And what do you think your favorite color says about you?

Success is a Journey not a Destination!

There is a blizzard outside my window as I type, LOL. I am thankful that I am safe and sound inside my home. I live in Northern Virginia, right out side of the nations capital Washington DC. My passion to live a successful life led me to the area in August of 2007. Born in Oakland California and raised in Oklahoma City, I am truly a country girl at heart with city dreams! My journey to where I am now has not been an easy one. I will use this blog to tell you about my past, present and what I want for the future. My mission is to take you along with me. As I stubble along life lessons I hope to share them with you. My prayer would be that we can inspire and support each others growth as we go on our personal journey through life together.

Oh yea, the snow! I am living history in DC! This has been the highest total of snow in DC history at 56 inches! I have not been to work in four days being I am a teacher schools have been closed. So while I have been home I have been relaxing. I have caught up on some of my favorite things to do like take a long bath, listen to music and read some new books I just purchased. I have also been journaling like a crazy person. So much is on my mind so I find myself being creative, which inspired me to start this blog. It looks like I will be snowed in for a few more days. I will keep you posted.

Finding the best out of the worst situations to me is the key to success! What we can't control should not take too much of our time or energy. If we are to be successful we need to keep in mind our purpose, our mission, and our goals. That is what I plan to do with this blog.

So I ask where are you on your journey? And if you are in the areas where the snow has hit, how have you made the best of it?

Natasha