Personality: The Desire to Be Liked pt1

Two weeks ago I went to visit my surgeon’s office for the first time. I was extremely nervous because I did not know what to expect. Sense I was 13 I have had large breast. Finally I have great insurance coverage and if I was approved by my surgeon I would not pay a dime! When the doctor greeted me his hand shake was weak and he instantly started talking about my weight. I was shocked and hurt. He then grabbed my boobs, took pictures of them and shortly after left the room. After the hurtful visit I left heartbroken wondering if I ought to find a new surgeon. Already emotionally spent I said to myself, does his personality really matter if he will do a great job on my breast reduction?

This question I bounced around for days as I was carrying the wounds from my surgeon’s not so kind words in my head and heart. As I talked to family, friends and co-workers about getting a new surgeon I received mixed reviews. “Girl forget him and get another surgeon. He does not have good bedside manner.” Another comment was “You need to look into getting a different surgeon and see what would be the process cause I would not let that man touch my body. GOD is trying to teach you patience”. The comments that my spirit agreed with was “Tash you know how long you wanted this surgery, keep the doctor and afterwards tell him he was a jerk”. My sis said “How much more patient do you have to be to find a new doctor? You only been waiting sense you were 13”!

After prayer and meditation I came to the decision to stay. As time went by I soon forgot about the hurtful words and his lack of good bedside manner. I remember the women who referred me to him as she said he is a “perfectionist” so of course he would expect me be “perfect”. What I also kept in mind is after ten years have passed sense she had surgery she said he was excellent! So the mature and more aware Natasha said I don’t care about his personality as long as he can do his job!

When I left the doctor’s office I asked “Do you think my insurance will cover it”? “I don’t know” he said shortly after. “It could take 4-6 weeks to find out", he continued. My heart sank. I now have to wait another month in a half? My goal was to complete the surgery before the school year. I knew in my heart that the doctor would write a great letter of recommendation to my insurance company and he did! Not because he “liked me” but because he is great at what he does. Two weeks later I get a call that my insurance approved the surgery at 100% of the cost. Sure I would have liked to have a surgeon who was warm and connected, but for me personality no longer matters. I feel if you do your job good you are okay with me!

Follow Your Heart

What I know for sure is that allowing others to dictate your future is a guaranteed failure. Stepping out on faith and doing what your heart says to do at times can be a very lonely and scary experience. There are times in life where no one will see the vision GOD has on your life but you. At any moment your heart will ask of you to do the very thing you fear. To fully experience everything this life has to offer we must start with our own heart. When you are disconnected from within it allows others to come into your life and talk you out of your personal truth! The older saints in church have a saying "I am glad that I know, that I know, that I know, that I know". It is simply saying I trust and believe in the truth that comes from my heart! It is the comfort of knowing that GOD lives in my heart and he is my guide. When no one else sees what GOD is doing in my life, I do not lose hope because I see it! I have learned to speak up for myself and honor my truth, by doing that I have strengthened my faith in myself. Find peace with the voice inside you. Let that voice heal you and keep you as you go through life. You cannot go wrong when you follow your heart! Do not allow the judgments of others to keep you from doing what your heart says. Reflect, pray, fast and meditate on what your life purpose is. Move forward with that peace of staying true to what your purpose is even if that means going alone. Following your heart at times is a lonely walk, but your heart will be at peace.

Music Mondays: Kim Burrell | NEW single "Sweeter"

Kim Burrell has touched our souls with her voice for many years now. With a voice like no other Kim Burrell knows how to minister to our hearts. Back with her LP titled “The LOVE Album” in my opinion, it is one of the best albums of this year. Kim Burrell does not disappoint as she allows the spirit of GOD to use her as she speaks about LOVE and how to LOVE each other the way Christ LOVES us. Remaking songs like “LOVE Me in a Special Way” by El Debarge and “LOVE’s Holiday” by Earth Wind & Fire she makes it clear that LOVE is not just a relationship between man and woman, but also with GOD.

Burrell makes her LOVE message clear with songs like “Pray for LOVE” and her remake of “Jesus Is a LOVE Song” by Karen Clark-Sheard. This is a worship CD! The lyrics heal your heart and the music moves your soul. The music will inspire you to lift your hands expressing LOVE to GOD for bringing you so far and expressing gratetiude because HE will take you even farther. LOVE is the new movement! In order to see a world of peace we have to first be a world filled with LOVE! Who is going to join the revolution with me? We speak and write about LOVE often, but we put it to practice when we live it! Let this album push you to the next level on your Spiritual Journey!

Here is the current single off of the “The LOVE Album” LP “Sweeter”.

Music Monday’s: Inspiration Mix

Music soothes the soul. The melody and lyrics have a way of meeting your needs emotionally that nothing else compares to. Listening to a song that "speaks" directly to you has a profound effect on our well being. Understanding this need I decided to make an inspiration mix for myself. The spirit needs to be soothed and nurtured. What better way to do that than with music! This is a mix that I put on my MP3 player for myself and I want to share it with you.

 

What songs inspire you? Share them with me. There are many more songs to add to the list. Here are a few I picked. Hope you enjoyJ

 

"And You Don't Stop" by Kelly Price

"Walking" by Mary Mary

"This is Me" by Kierra Sheard

"Be Happy" by Mary J. Blige

"LOVE" by Carmen Rodgers

"Spring Summer Feeling" by Jill Scott

"Happy Face" by Destiny's Child

"Future" by Musiq

"Golden" by Jill Scott
 

Music Mondays:Kelly Price - I'm Sorry

I did not know Kelly Price released her new CD on May 3, 2011. I downloaded the CD right away and OMG, Kelly Price does not disappoint. She does not have one bad single on the 12 song LP. Going through each song, I was excited for Kelly's great return to music. I finally got to "I'm Sorry" and the tears began pour down my face. I instantly allowed the lyrics to touch my heart. The song is about Kelly in a reflective state of mind. She starts by saying that she is sorry she is leaving and sorry that she stayed, HA! The song continues on as Kelly tells HERSELF sorry and pledging to do better in the future. My GOD, talk about healing lyrics. Kelly Price belts out notes as you can feel she is singing from her heart. I connected with the words and with the pain in Kelly's voice. I too abandoned myself for the world and approval of others. At one point in my life I did not honor my heart or my head when making decisions in my life. But I, like Kelly has learned the art of forgiveness with myself and ready to start a new.

Take this vow with me. Do not let another day go by that you put yourself last on your own list!! Honor who you are, and make peace with yourself today. Your heart will be grateful that you did. Enjoy the song with lyrics below.

I'm sorry that I'm leaving
I'm sorry that I stayed
I'm sorry that I ever let you treat me that way
And I'm sorry that I let a good man get away

But I accept my apology
I'm gonna do better by me
I wrote this song to say I forgive me

For the times I needed me
And every time I slacked
I'm sorry I gave him my love
And he didn't love me back
And I'm so sorry I gave him my heart
I want it back


But I accept my apology
I'm gonna do better by me
I wrote this song to say I forgive me

For the wasted time I know I'll never see again
For the drama and the lies that live inside my head
And for loving you (more) than I even love myself
And for every bridge I burned I know I can't return

But I accept my apology
I'm gonna do better by me
I wrote this song to say I forgive me
I wrote it to say that I love me
I wrote this song to say I forgive me

What Is Your Belief

Belief is defined as the "confidence in truth". Our truths are personal convictions we have within. Our personal truths are our own mottos for how we live our lives day to day. Affirmations we speak confirm our personal truth and builds on our belief system in ourselves and the world we create around us. Without knowing our personal beliefs it is easy to become a victim. We have messages that tell us what we need to believe and reasons to doubt our worth. This is why it is very important to reflect on what it is that YOU believe in. Without an honest heart to heart with ourselves we will be further and further away from the life we were born to live. I discover personal truths every day. By doing this I try to strip away what society has said to me and listen to my heart. I pray and ask GOD to reveal His truth to me so I will not walk in the dark. The most important reason is so my walk in life lines up to what I believe in! Ask yourself these questions. What is my heart saying to me? What do I feel in my spirit? In our hearts we hear the voice of GOD. Everyone needs to fully assess themselves to see if our lives still reflect our beliefs. The Bible warns followers of Christ about living a life that is contrary to their beliefs. Have the courage to ask, is my life a reflection of what I believe? Wither we know it or not how we live our lives tells the world our beliefs. Our beliefs reflect how we view ourselves and the world. If we believe in a greater good, honor, respect, and above all this LOVE, our actions need to support this truth. Be careful because you could be living a life totally different to what you believe in. Be honest with yourself. Go to GOD in prayer. Ask the truth to be relieved to you. Know that what you believe in will manifest into your life. For what we think or believe, is what we are says the Lord. What is your belief?

Examine Your Heart

As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the person Proverbs 27:19

 

Today I challenge you to examine your heart. What does your hearts reflection say about who you are as a person? Does it reflect compassion, honesty, LOVE, and trust? Or does it say confusion, anger, bitterness, jealousy, fear, neediness and hate? Before you answer meditate on this for a second. We must first exam our heart for the scriptures says it is a reflection of who we really are. There was a time in my life that my heart reflected pain, anger, fear, and judgment of myself and others. The wall between myself and my family forced me to exam my own heart. I was already considered a "good" person by anyone's standard. But in order for me to grow I had to have the courage to change the things inside my heart that did not reflect GOD.

The truth is if our hearts are dark our life will tell this truth. Our hearts will be reflected in not only how we treat others, but most importantly how we treat ourselves. The hurtful words, the lies, and breaking commitments with our self and others are a result of being disconnected within. Start today by nurturing your heart. Listen to what it says because it is a reflection of who you really are.

Do not allow past hurts and disappointments to keep you from your greater self. Have the courage to exam your heart daily. Understand we all are sinners saved by grace. No one is above hatred, murder, aggressive sex acts, adultery, and living a lie. NO ONE! When we fully exam our hearts we will seek truth and know that being "good" does not make our hearts pure, but seeking forgiveness does! Cleanse your heart so your life can be the reflection of LOVE that GOD called you to be.