Mastering The Art of Being Alone pt1

The path to LOVE begins when you realize that separation, loneliness, and the pain of isolation are real~Deepak Chopra. I remember like it was yesterday. I was 25 years old and I just graduated from college. I lived at home with my grandparents and still searching for a job. Feeling desperate, lonely, and anxious was a everyday experience. I made a habit of finding what was wrong with me and fixing it. Feeling UNLOVABLE I constantly sought LOVE from other places outside of myself. Fearing being alone forever I constantly dreamed and prayed for a husband who would make me complete. He would make me happy! As GOD would have his way this image was broken the day I read in Essence Magazine "NO Man Can Make You Happy". I have said that line to myself over and over like most people. But until that day it never sank in. Finally reality hit! Separation became real. The pain of being by myself became real. I broke down! I cried. I became angry. I said to myself if a man can't make me happy what is the point of being in a relationship? Boy, did I have a lot to learn.

I share that story because so many people still feel deep down inside wither they want to admit it or not that they believe someone will save them from themselves. The desire for LOVE for most people is motivated by fear or fantasy. In one of my favorite books The Path To LOVE Deepak Chopra writes about how most people live with images in their heads of the fantasy relationship that no one will live up to or the fear that they are not LOVABLE at all. Both extremes is what keeps romance at bay. To master the art of being alone or in solitary we have to embrace the reality that we are the only ones that are responsible for our own happiness. The day I realized this my life has not been the same.

Happiness is subjective. It looks and feels different to different people. That is why the journey is so important to do it alone. Yes, that is right I said it. ALONE *dun dun dun*! In order for us to reach new levels in ourselves we have to spend time in solitary. Being in solitary is being in your scarce place. Spending time alone does not mean using all your time and energy wondering when your soul mate will come. Spending time alone is nurturing your spirit/soul so your soul will seek out and draw your mate to you. Understanding this will set you free! There is nothing you can do to be more attractive to a person than nurturing and LOVING yourself!

In astrology you have what is called North node and South Node. South node is what we do naturally. Our North node is the direction our soul craves for us to go. Many astrologers make South nodes to be negative and North nodes to be positive. In order to be balanced and whole beings I believe it is wise to embrace both sides, our whole selves. My South node is in Aries. This shows my independent spirit. The part of me that does not understand why the whole world wants to be in a relationship. Being a solider for Christ is natural because I am a warrior! Having my South node in Aries makes me a natural leader and gives me a desire to be first at everything! My North node is in Libra. The polar opposite! This part of me is very ideal. I see romance and beauty in everything! My soul craves peace and harmony within. I am a natural visionary under this influence and all I see is a white picket fence 2.5 kids and a dog, hahaha.

How does one embrace both? Great that you ask! This is what we master when we are alone. In solitary we seek unity within. Reconnecting to yourself, the one you abandoned for the world! Living a solitary lifestyle I can hear clearly what GOD wants from me. I can see now that it is natural for me to be alone being that my South node influence is in Aries. GOD helped me to see that there is nothing wrong with being in a LOVING relationship, but everything must be done in order. Not out of fear or desperation! My disappointment with the reality of LOVE gave me a "me against the world" attitude. Needing someone made me feel powerless and that is not a natural feeling for me. Realizing this truth gave me the power I thought I would loose. I felt empowered by being honest with myself! Coming full circle is what leads us to our North node. Finally able to embrace the negative inside yourself encourages you to be better. My soul craves unity and a solid foundation in a relationship. In order to build solid foundations we must first start within. Going into a relationship without a solid foundation within yourself is like building a house on quick sand! As soon as reality hits and issues arise as they will everything will fall apart!

Find the courage to spend time in solitary. Ask your self honest questions like "would I marry me"? Spending a season of your life alone could be just what GOD wants to take you to the next level. At the next level there will many opportunities that wait for your arrival! Next will be Mastering The Art of Being Alone pt2.

Teaching and Teachers Matter

April 11-17 2010 was the week of the young child. Every year NAEYC(National Association for the Education of Young Children)has a week dedicated to young children. The themes for the week of the young child varied from Play: Where learning begins, Encouraging Health and Fitness to Teaching and Teachers Matter. As an educator I based my lesson plan this week on fun activities that promote learning through play. To look deeper into how my teaching effects my students I took to heart the theme Teaching and Teachers Matter.

Everyone can remember their favorite teacher. What about the teacher who passed out gifts for well behaved students? What about the teacher who gave parties and made cupcakes and cookies? Or the teacher who always picked you as the helper? The other students who where jealous teased you and called you "teachers pet" LOL. What about the teacher who never picked you as the helper? The teacher who always seemed negative and it effected you emotionally? It has been said that the teacher who effects us the most is the latter. The teacher who was the negative influence in our lives.

As a teacher I always think how my behavior is effecting my students? How will their futures be influenced by how I teach them today? I have the honor and privilege to teach preschool. Yes, I have my work cut out for me. Everyday there are new set of problems that I have to work collectively with others to solve. As the classroom manager I have to help solve issues between co-teachers. I have to make sure that lesson plans are purposeful, with meaning and are child centered activities daily. Not to mention my paper work! So it is important for me that what I teach is as important as what I do. To teach is to lead by example. This is why parents are the first teachers in a child's life.

Parents role in teaching is the source of how the child will respond in school. For example, if the children are in a home where their parents sit down and read to them, that child will have a LOVE for reading and learning. For the child who does not have that luxury at home, is what makes my responsibility as a teacher that much greater. This is why there must be a collective effort from everyone that is in a child's life! Teaching and teachers matter. It does not matter if you are the child's parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, family dentist, firefighter, writer, or teacher. Our work is to give our children a life free of violence, hate, and ignorance. We must ask ourselves what have I given to our children. What has my life taught a child who will be effected in some way by me being active in their lives.

My mission as a teacher is to make learning fun and purposeful. I want my students to have a desire to learn, ask questions, and be free to be themselves. That is what my teaching environment supports. What does yours?

I still Remember

April 19, 1995 I was a Junior in High school. On that specific day I was taking a childcare class at Metro Tech in Midwest City Oklahoma. I remember it was a pretty day outside. Not a lot of clouds, a really nice sunny day. The other childcare teachers and I took our class outside to enjoy the beautiful morning. Out on the playground everyone felt a shake. Sense Metro Tech is near Tinker Air force Base I assumed it was just an airplane. I remember lining up the preschoolers and walking back in the classroom. Then my classmates where screaming and sitting in front of the TV. And I saw the most horrific images on TV. It was like watching a movie. Bloody bodies being carried out of the building into the ambulance trucks. The local news worked over time trying to capture the experience so it can feel real to those of us watching from our TVs. It did not seem real at all. I could not fathom what I saw.

As days to follow more and more bodies where found in the rumble. News began to circulate that there was a daycare in the basement of the building. My heart dropped. I thought what type of person could do such a thing? The sadness was real as family members of the missing desperately searched and prayed for a cousin, brother, sister, or mother's safe return.

Pictures of the missing were shown on local and national broadcast news stations. The whole world was locked into the Oklahoma City bombing . Who did it? What was the motive? Some even suggested terrorist attacks from abroad. Accusing innocent people based on where they were from and the whole time it was American born citizens who did the crime. An Army veteran, Timothy McVeigh, was eventually convicted on federal murder charges in connection with the bombing and executed in 2001.

McVeigh said he set off the bomb in front of the Murrah building at 9:01 a.m., in part, to seek revenge against the U.S. government for its raid on the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas, on April 19, 1993 (CNN).

As an Oklahoman that day will be remembered forever. In my home my grandmother put up a banner that reads "I still remember". 15 years later the questions are still being asked, is this a safe country? Will this happen again? The truth is yes, it can happen again. My prayer is that it doesn't. With our government taking a serious look at terrorist attacks and hate for the government here at home, that would be a start.

Years ago when I told people that I was from Oklahoma they would ask "where the bombing was"? I don't get asked that question any more. It seems that most people have forgotten. But the people from Oklahoma will never forget. We all either lost a family member, a friend, or we know someone who did. Or worst we know survivors who struggle with putting their lives back together again. Mercy Lord!

My hope and prayer on this day is to remember those who lost their lives. To say a prayer for the survivors and the victims families. Oklahomans showed compassion on that day. The day where total strangers helped out other strangers with the common bond of the human spirit! Today is a day to remember community and strength as well. Let's celebrate this day with peace in our hearts and minds.

Do you remember what you were doing April 19, 1995? Do you know anyone who was a victim? Please feel free to share your story!

Year of transition!

I believe this is the year of transformation. There has been positive and some devastating change. This year has been a tough year for so many people around the world. Transformations big and small. The victims in Haiti and in Chili due to earth quakes. Also yesterday the volcano in Iceland. Everyone will be changed in some way this year. For me it is a physical transformation. I want to loose weight.

Sense I was a baby I was a chunky girl. Fat, chubby, voluptuous, curvy, whatever you want to call it that's what I was and still am. I am a proud chunky girl and have been my whole life. But to say I have felt peace with my body would be a lie. I have been working on building my inside for the past 10 years. Now it's time for the outside to reflect who Iam as a whole person. Being a big girl my whole life I always knew how to carry myself. Fashion has never been an issue for me. I am a diva! Feeling good about yourself is a battle for big and skinny folks. Losing weight is for my mental and physical well being. So my goal is to lose up to 40 pounds. I will be posting pics of myself as I go through the weight lost process.



My plan is simple. Eat better and exercise. I have been advised to exercise 3-5 days a week. To eat every three hours to build up your metabolism. To have lots of color on your plate. Drink plenty of water, journal what you eat, and get plenty of sleep!

This is all a learning process for me so hopefully we can support each other. This is the hardest thing I have done. I heard that people loose weight and keep it off when they get support. I am asking for your support and you know I will support you. Make this season count! Dont let another year go by feeling bad about how you look. If you have healthy advice please drop a few lines and let me know!

VH1 Sunday Line up

If you are looking for a good laugh, entertainment, drama, and gossip, VH1 Sunday's line up is for you. Family fun, disappoints and hope for LOVE will keep you coming back for more. I admit I am tired of the same types of reality shows that seem rehearsed and lack substance. I was surprised after watching this past Sunday that the shows were very entertaining and surprisingly good. Tune in April 18th @ 9pm to catch the Sunday line up starting with Brandy and Ray J Family Business, Basketball Wives @ 10pm and ending with What Chilli Wants @ 10:30pm.




The Norwood family show is based on the careers of Brandy and pseudo career of her brother Ray J. The siblings are getting handed the manger responsibilities of their career from their mother Sonja. Sonja has been Brandy's manger sense Brandy was 15 years old. Now mom is looking to rekindle her romance with Ray J sir, Brandy and Ray J's father. In the coming episodes we will see Brandy break down about an accident that took a wife and mothers life. How Ray J handles his "business" and the building of a relationship between the parents.






Basketball Wives was a show I just thought oh GOD, here we go. Spoiled rich wives complaining how hard it is to get a mani/pedi and make sure the nanny gets the kids from school. Interestingly enough the show goes deep into the lives of the players and the women in their lives. The woman are not "wives" as the show says, only two women are actually still married to a basketball player. I admit, I used to be the girl who thought being married to a ball player was the perfect situation. Watching the show is an eye opener for sure! Shaunie, Shaq's ex wife is the producer of the show and she wants everyone to see that wives of professional athletes has challenges and not as perfect as one may think. I guess we shall see.




What Chilli Wants is a show about Chilli member of TLC fame looking for love. Oh boy, all we need is another show about looking for love right? LOL, I know but Chilli helps me look at myself as a single women and see if I maybe asking for too much. The love expert and author of Girl, Get Your Mind Right, Tionna Small is a Brooklyn chick who tells it like it is. To be honest she is the highlight of the show to me. Tionna Small is to guide Chilli and help her to get closer to finding love. In the first episode we see her "friendship" with boxer Floyd Mayweather. She also speaks of her ex Usher Raymond. The show producers know what the people want to see. This will be interesting to watch I am sure.


So, tell me what you think. Tuning in on Sunday nights?

Coming out of your comfort zone

In the year 2003 I began to have church at home. I used to be one of those folks who was in church every time the doors was opened lol. After studying the word I learned that we take the church with us everywhere we go because the scriptures say that our bodies are the church. So this morning I had my own church service in my home. I studied from 1st Corinthians chapters 6&7. I also do praise and worship and I wanted new music. I then remembered Marvin Sapp's new album Here I am. I downloaded some singles from the album on amazon.com, but "Comfort Zone" stuck in my spirit. Tears filled my eyes as the word ministered to my heart! You can have the Holy Spirit visit you anytime your heart and mind are receptive. I felt GOD say this is my season. New journey's and challenges ahead, but that's OK as long as I trust and believe in the LORD our GOD. GOD bless Marvin Sapp for allowing GOD to use him and create such a beautiful song. Listen and read the lyrics of this song and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you the way it did to me. What is your testimony? What is GOD pushing you to do?







I'm coming out of my comfort zone
Some of the places in my life that's comfortable
God is challenging me
Trust and believe
For to go where I've not gone
I must do what I've not done

So I am coming out of my comfort zone
Tho it may cost me some friends
I'll walk alone
God is challenging me
To Trust and believe
For to go where I've not gone
I must do what I've not done

God is calling me
(to walk into my destiny)
God is challenging me
(to go where I've not been)
God is proving me
(and for the rest of my life, I'll say yes)
Yes yes yes!

I'm coming out of my comfort zone
I'm being stretched to place where I've never known
God is challenging me
To trust and believe
For to go where I've not gone
I must do what I've not done

God is calling me
(to walk into my destiny)
God is challenging me
(to go where I've not been)
God is proving me
(and for the rest of my life, I'll say yes)
Yes yes yes!

I'm coming out
Into my destiny
I'm coming out
And for the rest of my life my answer will be yes
Yes, yes, yes

I'm coming out
Into my destiny
I'm coming out
And for the rest of my life it will be yes
Yes yes yes

Yes to your will
I'm coming out
Yes to your way
I'm coming out
Yes Lord
I'm coming out
Each and every day
Yes

I'm coming out (2x)

I'm coming out of my comfort zone
I'm being stretched to a place I've never known
God is challenging me
Trust and believe

Slow Down:Finding balance within!

Ok, so this season in my life I have been asking myself alot of questions. My soul's desire is to have balance in my life. So the new me is living with purpose and intent. So everything I do my soul desire is for it to have meaning. The reason is for me to add something positive to my life and bring the balance my soul craves.

In the past several years it seems everyone is an expert about something. So I have read standpoints from one extreme to the next. My goal is trying to find the right balance between the two. But the real goal is to find what is it that my heart desires? What is it that GOD is telling me to do? With so much advice I feel my head is spinning at times LOL. In the scriputers it says to be still in the mist of choas and confusion so you can hear the voice of GOD. So that's what I did. After reading so many articles, books and getting advice from many I learned the best answer comes from within!

I am a 32 year old virgin. Typing that makes me feel proud. We live in a time where everything is satuarated. Nothing is pure! Our bodies are dumping grounds for the quickest and easiest ways for cooking, losing weight, gaining weight, and getting pregnant! Now we are finding quick ways to fall in LOVE, and getting new jobs. Driving down the street, who drives the speed limit anymore? No wonder we have a hard time relating to others because we are detached from ourselves. We are so far detached from what GOD created us to be. In his image! I am not going to lecture whats good vs. evil. That's not the point. My point is simple, we expect long lasting results with less discipline to get it! How about those of us striving to loose unwanted pounds? We want 50 pounds to come off in four months and it took our whole or most of our lives to gain the weight! In order for us to get the lives our soul craves we must slow down!

The art of balance takes going within. Finding a voice inside ourselves that speaks to us in our darkest hour. I call that voice the Holy Spirit. When I hear the Holy Spirit speak to me I listen to see what GOD wants me to know. The tough part is it's not always what you want to hear, but it is nessary if you want to have the life your soul desires. Instead of always getting on the phone to call someone pray first! Write in a jornal or go for a walk. Mediate or sit still for at least five minutes. What is your soul asking of you? What is your soul asking for you to fulfill this life time? Clarity is inside of us all, but we must be willing to seek it. Imagine a life free of drama! Everyone around us is going mad and you are at peace. Woooo saaiii:) GOD says this is what he can give us if we only welcome him in!