TRUTH HURTS

“Why men great till they gotta be great”~Lizzo

Lizzo is a big deal to me for multiple reasons.  She is a plus sized woman comfortable in her skin and promoting self love!  But she also has boy problems and writes about them.  If there is anything I can relate to in this whole wide world is that I problems with a men.  Constant dating woes, I tried it all from “going with the flow”, to being in “situationships”, to only dealing with one man while in the “talking phase” and I get the same result; single.  I put the “singggg” in single.  I am not sad cause “I’m 100% that bitch” still! I am celebrating me with girl power songs that encourage loving yourself, putting myself first and moving on to the next.

This song has been played everywhere.  This is my summer theme song.  If you have already heard this song I hope it heals you like it has me and if you haven’t you’re in for a treat

Music Mondays: Shuffle Playlist

I am going to tell you all about the power of shuffle.  In the past I wasn’t a fan of shuffle being I listen to music based on my mood.  One day I did not know what I wanted to hear so I hit the shuffle button and that's how I been listening to music every since.  When we are in tune there are days when shuffle speaks directly to you and plays songs based on your very mood.  And you also learn the power of the skip button when shuffle on rare occasions gets it wrong.  Apple music shuffle is based on the songs you have saved in your library.  The genius behind shuffle is that it recognizes the songs that you frequently play so the songs will be added to your shuffle playlist.  Driving your morning commute, getting through a long work day, or showing off your good taste in music, shuffle is a gem for music lovers.

So add a comment and put me on to something new, tell me what's in your shuffle playlist?  Here is a short list of mine:

Red

                                                                         








INSPIRATION

Thoughts taking shape
Provocation via cheek bone
Your eyes alone are a sex tape
Intriguing and entrancing
Taboo of an ancient forbidden dancing
Weight of a once in a lifetime chancing
Standing firmly
Hands wide open in acceptance
Centered on the purest intention
Free-flowing in whichever direction
Willing
Feeling
Has all of the grinding and milling
Finally led to quenching distilling


By Tislam Ramsey

Words

Words that were sacred

Were finally held naked

How he misspoke the true meaning of them

Easily fragrant, and was pissed when I exposed the truth

Calling him out, how he could forget his child's birthday so easily

How he verbally, mentally and physically abused so willingly

He was so ready and willing to use anger

That type of danger, is the reason why I kept my distance like we were strangers

Amongst the feelings were heartbreak and anger

Feeling unwanted, craving attention from a stranger

Suspensions from school

Disrespectful behavior

Screaming for attention

Only to get it later, once I found it inside myself

By Kevin Hatten

Revolving Door

I was a woman with daddy issues so I have been very accommodating in relationships.  My revolving door relationship with my father has affected my relationships with men.  My father has been in and out of my life since I was a baby.  Spinning me in circles emotionally coming in and out of my life.

I finally have had enough.  I haven't spoken to my father in years and suddenly I get a greeting card from him this past summer. The card I received from my father was him apologizing to me for the time we had lost and making promises he doesn't keep.  And like in true Tasha fashion I let him back in.  Only for him to continue to act like I am a hindrance to his life cause he can't find time for me.  See, he remarried and has kids.  They see him and get love daily while I pine for him and beg for call backs.

After allowing my father another chance to be in my life I began to do a lot of reflection.  My addiction to pain keeps me going back to dead end situations.  I had to finally face my own truth.  Sorrow and neglect became my love language.  The more detached he is the more I want to save a man.

Going into the new year I wanted to stop this pattern.  No one will be allowed to leave and come back in my life any more.  I will love you and hope for the best, I'm no longer the angry black girl with daddy issues.  I am healing and seeking a mutual satisfying love life.  We will not constantly argue but discuss differences.  We will seek solution not run away.  This time I am loving my own way.  Letting anyone go for good who doesn't want to stay.  I no longer have an open door policy.  I will gladly open the door for you to go if you can live a life without me actively apart of it, just know the door will be closed behind you for good.

Goodbye 2015

Am I the only one who's ready to see 2015 go?  Am I the only one who struggled with their faith this year?  As much as I enjoy each day and grateful for waking up, this year has been very difficult.  I thank God for the blessing of life.  And moments this year that brought me joy.  Like NBA All-Star Weekend in NYC with my siblings.  This year I constantly challenged my way of thinking, being and doing.  Nothing just came to me like in the past.  What I wanted this year I had to work extra hard for it and even then it didn't guarantee me a win.  In years past I seen my hard work manifest and I bared great fruit.  This was the year of drought.

My heart was blocked and it took away my creativity.  Every time I thought I was close to falling in love it fell apart.  It was like being in love wasn't meant for me.  I shut completely down.  So I took a break from everything: love, school, and personal goals.   I think I only went to church twice this whole entire year.  I wanted to try something new.  I needed to relax more and challenge old out dated behavior.

What I learned in 2015 the most is trust in love. Know you are worthy of love as you are.  Always follow my heart.  Don't be so hard on yourself, give yourself a break, and do not let anyone take advantage of you.  I know that there are many things that 2015 has taught you.  Please share if you will. I want to tell you thank you for always supporting me and my vision by coming to my blog, I love you. Let's toast to the New Year.  May 2016 be your best year yet!

Your Vision

Life will constantly remind you of your vision-Iyanla

I always had a vision for my life since a little girl. I always saw myself being in a romantic relationship.  As I began to surrender to life and love I found myself dating.  While dating I lost my sense of self and power.  Everything I said I wanted in a relationship and needed in life I began to put that power in the hands of someone else.  My vision was now gone.  I was confused.  My peace was distorted.  Wanting to have children, wanting to spend quality time with someone, wanting to have a man who is financially stable, and wanting to settle down all became too much to ask.  What I longed for I convinced myself it was no longer what I needed.  I no longer knew who I was and I questioned myself too often.  My life was no longer about me, it was about how to fulfill, sustain and please someone else.  What life reminded me was that it is okay to keep me first.

In quest of finding my true self again I began to make peace.  I made peace with who I once was and who I am in the present.  The merging of the two, my past and present gave me a new vision.  Life began to show me who I was again.  I sat down and studied my vision boards.  And I connected to the person that I am today.  What life showed me was it’s never too late to start over, to start fresh and anew.  To rid yourself of everything and everyone that doesn’t serve you, your highest self.  My vision for love is now free-flowing, not desperately holding on to what or who needs to go.  Detachment is my biggest lesson to learn.  My new vision is to nurture relationships and build.  Not to stay in the “cutting people off” phase.  I now will save myself grief and will only invest in a man who wants the long term, who wants to invest in me.  Enjoying my life, dating and loving are my new visions.  Not taking life so serious and letting my inner love Goddess free.  Physical pleasure is a gift. My new vision is to allow myself the chance to explore, to make mistakes and make love.  As Oprah says, “Create the highest grandest vision for your life.  Then let every step move you in that direction”.