Music Mondays: Robin Thicke-The New Generation

Robin Thicke new release "LOVE and War" hit shelves on December 6, 2011. This album is a soulful and smooth listen. The CD begins with up-tempo songs and then smoothes out towards the end. While there are a few skips on the CD overall it is a great listen and worth the buy. There are several high lights from the album but one song that touched me deeply is "The New Generation". The song is a tribute to our current generation and how we are beginning our own revolution, a revolution of LOVE, peace, and resolution. It is by far one of my favorite songs out currently and after a listen I know it will be yours too! The song has great lyrics, with a catchy tune and live instruments. Check out the entire CD in stores now! Enjoy.

My Transformation (Journey to breast reduction)

I have a confession. My whole life my breast have been my biggest insecurity. Every time I passed a mirror I would cringe at my reflection. This is difficult to admit because I am afraid to come off as weak. Image plays a large part of what we think of ourselves and I am aware of this truth. What I have learned is everyone has an issue with something concerning their body. The desire to “LOVE me for me” inspired me to embrace myself as I was although my breasts were a burden on me in many ways. To look at ourselves honestly can be a very painful experience.

I managed to find peace with my breast. Actually more like “fake it until you make it” because I hated them! Yes, I hated them! My breast put me at a size 18/20, but my pants size is a 14!! This is the pain that is hard to explain. The challenge of shopping takes its toll on you. I am 16 looking like a middle age 50 year old because I could not find clothes in my size! Then the comments and looks people would give me made feel very low. I did not want to be notice because I knew what people were thinking when they seen me. I know you’re probably thinking it’s just my insecurity and that could very well be true. My insecurity of my breast kept me from dating, being the first to walk into any party, hell even the first to walk into a movie theater. I had to talk myself into being confident. The “fake it until you make it” became too draining and I desired to really LOVE who I saw when I looked in the mirror.

I built my life around being safe. From the time when I was 12 and pulled myself out of the talent show when I realized the boys just watched me dance to see my breast jump up and down. I am a great dancer actually. Only a handful of people know this about me to this day! I carried years of pain, embarrassment and living under my potential my whole life. I was great about making goals for school or my next five year plan on my life. But interacting with a table full of men, not so much! That 14 year old girl whose crush said he did not like me because “her breasts are too big” plays over and over in my head. Unless you have lived it, it is difficult to understand. If you have or had large breast than I know you’re nodding your head in agreement. It’s okay to admit our pain and shortcomings. My pain I carried for twenty years and I thank GOD it is my burden no more!


Moving to DC my life has changed in multiple ways. I believe that where GOD wants
you to be is where your blessings are! A month ago I went under the knife. With my twin sister by my side I found the courage to follow my heart. Tears going down my eyes I thought about years and years of dreaming of this moment and it were finally happened. My life was changing and I was at peace! Weeks of healing has given me time to reflect. Looking in the mirror I feel connected! This is the person I saw in my dreams at 14 years old. After years and years of hating what I saw in the mirror, I had an aha moment! I realized I no longer wanted to look like anyone else; I just wanted to be a better version of me! To see yourself and LOVE what you see is a gift everyone ought to have. Finally I have that. My inner vixen has come alive and I am no longer afraid to express who I am. I feel sexy, sensual, beautiful and complete. Embrace your light! Let LOVE guide your path to a better fulfilled you and watch your life transform!!

Autumn

What you release in the Fall will be replaced by something better in the Spring ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Change, change, and more change has been my theme for the past several months. I have lost weight, changed classrooms at my school, bought new furniture for my home, and had major surgery. My intentions daily are to live a life that is filled with purpose and meaning. To have a purpose filled life some type of transformation has to happen. I’m a fixed Scorpio, which means I will go through a million transformations in my lifetime fighting each one along the way. I LOVE change, just when it is the change I can control. That is why the lesson to release is very powerful not only for you, but for me as well.

What is it that you are afraid to let go of? Is it that relationship that bares no fruit? Is it that dead end job that you complain about everyday to anyone who will listen? This fall allow yourself to release the things that hinder you as freely as leaves fall from the trees. Brown leaves do not hold on for dear life pleading with Mother Nature to allow more time. I only can imagine that the leaves understand their place in the universe and do not get in their own way. Pain from the past, I challenge you to let it go. Guilt trips, feeling ashamed of your body image, putting other people on a pedestal and clinging onto old ways of thinking and being; LET IT GO!

Let go of old clothes. Yes, ladies that shirt that is pushed to the back of the closet let that go! There is a rule that if you have not touched it in a year then you don’t need it! Shoes you have not worn three trends ago give away. I started going to the Salvation Army back in 2005. I went so much I would get a regular call every month asking if I had a package for them to pick up. In life I believe everything happens in a circle or the cycle of life, what you put out comes back to you. This is also called the Law of Abundance. That is why I can put on an outfit for two months and never wear the same thing twice! Give and it shall be given to you says the Lord. Donate your time to your worship center, volunteer, give tithe or offering to your church. Make this season meaningful by living fully in the Law of Abundance. Be the very thing you want in your life. The law of abundance is to know that what you have right now is enough. Let go of the idea of lack. Transform into a new way of thinking and being allowing the Divine power of GOD to work through your life! For when the Spring comes will be proof of what you planted in the fall.

Personality: The Desire to Be Liked pt1

Two weeks ago I went to visit my surgeon’s office for the first time. I was extremely nervous because I did not know what to expect. Sense I was 13 I have had large breast. Finally I have great insurance coverage and if I was approved by my surgeon I would not pay a dime! When the doctor greeted me his hand shake was weak and he instantly started talking about my weight. I was shocked and hurt. He then grabbed my boobs, took pictures of them and shortly after left the room. After the hurtful visit I left heartbroken wondering if I ought to find a new surgeon. Already emotionally spent I said to myself, does his personality really matter if he will do a great job on my breast reduction?

This question I bounced around for days as I was carrying the wounds from my surgeon’s not so kind words in my head and heart. As I talked to family, friends and co-workers about getting a new surgeon I received mixed reviews. “Girl forget him and get another surgeon. He does not have good bedside manner.” Another comment was “You need to look into getting a different surgeon and see what would be the process cause I would not let that man touch my body. GOD is trying to teach you patience”. The comments that my spirit agreed with was “Tash you know how long you wanted this surgery, keep the doctor and afterwards tell him he was a jerk”. My sis said “How much more patient do you have to be to find a new doctor? You only been waiting sense you were 13”!

After prayer and meditation I came to the decision to stay. As time went by I soon forgot about the hurtful words and his lack of good bedside manner. I remember the women who referred me to him as she said he is a “perfectionist” so of course he would expect me be “perfect”. What I also kept in mind is after ten years have passed sense she had surgery she said he was excellent! So the mature and more aware Natasha said I don’t care about his personality as long as he can do his job!

When I left the doctor’s office I asked “Do you think my insurance will cover it”? “I don’t know” he said shortly after. “It could take 4-6 weeks to find out", he continued. My heart sank. I now have to wait another month in a half? My goal was to complete the surgery before the school year. I knew in my heart that the doctor would write a great letter of recommendation to my insurance company and he did! Not because he “liked me” but because he is great at what he does. Two weeks later I get a call that my insurance approved the surgery at 100% of the cost. Sure I would have liked to have a surgeon who was warm and connected, but for me personality no longer matters. I feel if you do your job good you are okay with me!

Follow Your Heart

What I know for sure is that allowing others to dictate your future is a guaranteed failure. Stepping out on faith and doing what your heart says to do at times can be a very lonely and scary experience. There are times in life where no one will see the vision GOD has on your life but you. At any moment your heart will ask of you to do the very thing you fear. To fully experience everything this life has to offer we must start with our own heart. When you are disconnected from within it allows others to come into your life and talk you out of your personal truth! The older saints in church have a saying "I am glad that I know, that I know, that I know, that I know". It is simply saying I trust and believe in the truth that comes from my heart! It is the comfort of knowing that GOD lives in my heart and he is my guide. When no one else sees what GOD is doing in my life, I do not lose hope because I see it! I have learned to speak up for myself and honor my truth, by doing that I have strengthened my faith in myself. Find peace with the voice inside you. Let that voice heal you and keep you as you go through life. You cannot go wrong when you follow your heart! Do not allow the judgments of others to keep you from doing what your heart says. Reflect, pray, fast and meditate on what your life purpose is. Move forward with that peace of staying true to what your purpose is even if that means going alone. Following your heart at times is a lonely walk, but your heart will be at peace.

Music Mondays: Kim Burrell | NEW single "Sweeter"

Kim Burrell has touched our souls with her voice for many years now. With a voice like no other Kim Burrell knows how to minister to our hearts. Back with her LP titled “The LOVE Album” in my opinion, it is one of the best albums of this year. Kim Burrell does not disappoint as she allows the spirit of GOD to use her as she speaks about LOVE and how to LOVE each other the way Christ LOVES us. Remaking songs like “LOVE Me in a Special Way” by El Debarge and “LOVE’s Holiday” by Earth Wind & Fire she makes it clear that LOVE is not just a relationship between man and woman, but also with GOD.

Burrell makes her LOVE message clear with songs like “Pray for LOVE” and her remake of “Jesus Is a LOVE Song” by Karen Clark-Sheard. This is a worship CD! The lyrics heal your heart and the music moves your soul. The music will inspire you to lift your hands expressing LOVE to GOD for bringing you so far and expressing gratetiude because HE will take you even farther. LOVE is the new movement! In order to see a world of peace we have to first be a world filled with LOVE! Who is going to join the revolution with me? We speak and write about LOVE often, but we put it to practice when we live it! Let this album push you to the next level on your Spiritual Journey!

Here is the current single off of the “The LOVE Album” LP “Sweeter”.

Music Monday’s: Inspiration Mix

Music soothes the soul. The melody and lyrics have a way of meeting your needs emotionally that nothing else compares to. Listening to a song that "speaks" directly to you has a profound effect on our well being. Understanding this need I decided to make an inspiration mix for myself. The spirit needs to be soothed and nurtured. What better way to do that than with music! This is a mix that I put on my MP3 player for myself and I want to share it with you.

 

What songs inspire you? Share them with me. There are many more songs to add to the list. Here are a few I picked. Hope you enjoyJ

 

"And You Don't Stop" by Kelly Price

"Walking" by Mary Mary

"This is Me" by Kierra Sheard

"Be Happy" by Mary J. Blige

"LOVE" by Carmen Rodgers

"Spring Summer Feeling" by Jill Scott

"Happy Face" by Destiny's Child

"Future" by Musiq

"Golden" by Jill Scott
 

Music Mondays:Kelly Price - I'm Sorry

I did not know Kelly Price released her new CD on May 3, 2011. I downloaded the CD right away and OMG, Kelly Price does not disappoint. She does not have one bad single on the 12 song LP. Going through each song, I was excited for Kelly's great return to music. I finally got to "I'm Sorry" and the tears began pour down my face. I instantly allowed the lyrics to touch my heart. The song is about Kelly in a reflective state of mind. She starts by saying that she is sorry she is leaving and sorry that she stayed, HA! The song continues on as Kelly tells HERSELF sorry and pledging to do better in the future. My GOD, talk about healing lyrics. Kelly Price belts out notes as you can feel she is singing from her heart. I connected with the words and with the pain in Kelly's voice. I too abandoned myself for the world and approval of others. At one point in my life I did not honor my heart or my head when making decisions in my life. But I, like Kelly has learned the art of forgiveness with myself and ready to start a new.

Take this vow with me. Do not let another day go by that you put yourself last on your own list!! Honor who you are, and make peace with yourself today. Your heart will be grateful that you did. Enjoy the song with lyrics below.

I'm sorry that I'm leaving
I'm sorry that I stayed
I'm sorry that I ever let you treat me that way
And I'm sorry that I let a good man get away

But I accept my apology
I'm gonna do better by me
I wrote this song to say I forgive me

For the times I needed me
And every time I slacked
I'm sorry I gave him my love
And he didn't love me back
And I'm so sorry I gave him my heart
I want it back


But I accept my apology
I'm gonna do better by me
I wrote this song to say I forgive me

For the wasted time I know I'll never see again
For the drama and the lies that live inside my head
And for loving you (more) than I even love myself
And for every bridge I burned I know I can't return

But I accept my apology
I'm gonna do better by me
I wrote this song to say I forgive me
I wrote it to say that I love me
I wrote this song to say I forgive me

What Is Your Belief

Belief is defined as the "confidence in truth". Our truths are personal convictions we have within. Our personal truths are our own mottos for how we live our lives day to day. Affirmations we speak confirm our personal truth and builds on our belief system in ourselves and the world we create around us. Without knowing our personal beliefs it is easy to become a victim. We have messages that tell us what we need to believe and reasons to doubt our worth. This is why it is very important to reflect on what it is that YOU believe in. Without an honest heart to heart with ourselves we will be further and further away from the life we were born to live. I discover personal truths every day. By doing this I try to strip away what society has said to me and listen to my heart. I pray and ask GOD to reveal His truth to me so I will not walk in the dark. The most important reason is so my walk in life lines up to what I believe in! Ask yourself these questions. What is my heart saying to me? What do I feel in my spirit? In our hearts we hear the voice of GOD. Everyone needs to fully assess themselves to see if our lives still reflect our beliefs. The Bible warns followers of Christ about living a life that is contrary to their beliefs. Have the courage to ask, is my life a reflection of what I believe? Wither we know it or not how we live our lives tells the world our beliefs. Our beliefs reflect how we view ourselves and the world. If we believe in a greater good, honor, respect, and above all this LOVE, our actions need to support this truth. Be careful because you could be living a life totally different to what you believe in. Be honest with yourself. Go to GOD in prayer. Ask the truth to be relieved to you. Know that what you believe in will manifest into your life. For what we think or believe, is what we are says the Lord. What is your belief?

Examine Your Heart

As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the person Proverbs 27:19

 

Today I challenge you to examine your heart. What does your hearts reflection say about who you are as a person? Does it reflect compassion, honesty, LOVE, and trust? Or does it say confusion, anger, bitterness, jealousy, fear, neediness and hate? Before you answer meditate on this for a second. We must first exam our heart for the scriptures says it is a reflection of who we really are. There was a time in my life that my heart reflected pain, anger, fear, and judgment of myself and others. The wall between myself and my family forced me to exam my own heart. I was already considered a "good" person by anyone's standard. But in order for me to grow I had to have the courage to change the things inside my heart that did not reflect GOD.

The truth is if our hearts are dark our life will tell this truth. Our hearts will be reflected in not only how we treat others, but most importantly how we treat ourselves. The hurtful words, the lies, and breaking commitments with our self and others are a result of being disconnected within. Start today by nurturing your heart. Listen to what it says because it is a reflection of who you really are.

Do not allow past hurts and disappointments to keep you from your greater self. Have the courage to exam your heart daily. Understand we all are sinners saved by grace. No one is above hatred, murder, aggressive sex acts, adultery, and living a lie. NO ONE! When we fully exam our hearts we will seek truth and know that being "good" does not make our hearts pure, but seeking forgiveness does! Cleanse your heart so your life can be the reflection of LOVE that GOD called you to be.

Masculine Power

Years ago I went on a date with a guy who I knew from high school. On our date he sat down next to me and placed his head in my chest near the square of my shoulder. The gesture made me uncomfortable because I realized the type of man I was dealing with. An emotionally needy one! There was no emotional connection between us and actually our very first date. To say his gesture turned me off would be an understatement.

On the ride home I heard about issues with all the women in his life including his ex-wife the mother of his children. When we arrived at my house I explained that I needed a leader, a man who balances me out, and who is not afraid to stand up to anyone he felt he needed to address. I further explained I sensed his need for my motherly LOVE but what he sought from me he had to fulfill within himself. His reply was no one had ever talked to him about balance and his needed inner strength. By him being raised by his mom he went on to say no one taught him how to be a man. My heart went out to him, but as I explained he is not the man my soul craves.

My inner need is for a masculine A-type male. There is nothing more attractive to me than a man who is comfortable being a man. Being a strong woman I would naturally respond to an A-type male because he would be the answer to my longing to be understood and supported. There would be no power struggles because he would have my respect. I need to feel protected and that he has everything under control. It would relieve me from the stress of always being the one who has to call the shots and get things done!

As soon as I am in the presence of a masculine man I swoon. You know the type of man who has no problem walking up to a woman and saying hello! A man with masculine power talks to his mom or baby mothers about any issues he has so there is no drama. My type of man! It is more than being confident; it is a quiet knowing I am fine as I am. The balance of feminine energy is the knowing and understanding of self. The feminine energy makes him want to solve more problems than create them. He is not threatened by the hug of a man or a child! A wise masculine man works towards balance.

According to Deepak Chopra in his book "Spiritual Strategies for Healing: The Path to LOVE" we ought to seek a partner who has the strengths we have not our weakness. We have been trained that finding the balance within a partnership has to be with someone who can give what we lack. Truth is when we view things from spirit we lack nothing! The danger then becomes a codependent relationship feeling that we are not whole without our mates. Deepak warns that the more dominate partner will cause the weaker partner to shrink. The desires of the weaker partner will no longer be realized and will cause resentment in the relationship, which is not healthy! If you have a high masculine in your personality like me you would want to seek that in a mate. A highly feminine male would have a balanced partnership with a woman who is highly feminine as well. Think Kanye West and Amber Rose. You may or may not agree with their partnership, but they bonded due to their respect for the fashion world. Kanye said he is not a car man, he rather spend money on clothes.

"To be aware of inner need is healthy, to deny inner need is unhealthy" by Deekpak Chopra. Due to societal pressures we find ourselves suppressing our inner desire to be accepted and not criticized. Needing a masculine partner I have been criticized for not being open to date nice guys. I have no issues with nice guys; I just need him to have a balance of toughness too! I finally understand what I need; every man will not have that! I am not asking the universe for every man, but one man GOD has for me! I need a leader, a protector and a provider. I need a warrior, a man who stands up for what he believes in. Am I the only one? A question: Ladies do you find yourself drawn too more masculine men? Also, men what do you think of masculine power?

 

Where Are You Channeling Your Energy?

I began my weight loss journey several months ago. My energy level was high when I first began. I worked out regularly, ate healthy and began working towards getting to bed on time. Then I hit a dead spot. I felt drained often. I had intense cravings for sweets and fried foods. My energy went from my personal health to what I am not doing right, my to-do list, and why I'm not able to get any rest at night. Goals I made for school did not go through. I felt the pressures of advancing my career and then the added pressure from my current career. Always feeling tired I knew something had to give. I had to focus on where I was channeling my energy.

As the seasons changed I noticed I did as well. Being self-aware I noticed I did not feel my normal energetic, positive self. Then the guilt set in. Then anxiety set in. All energy zappers! I began to crave sweets and I put off working out for one week that eventually ended up being almost a month. Exercise and diet are factors in having a well balanced life. Stop fighting the universe and align with it! The Law of attraction states that we will receive abundant living when we practice abundant living. In short, you get back what you put out. It is that simple. If you want a great body and healthy skin what are you doing to receive that? How much time do you invest in your personal well being? Where are you channeling your energy?

Your beliefs form your reality. You do not like your reality? Change your beliefs. To help shape my beliefs I placed affirmations on my mirror in my bathroom. Every time I look in the mirror I will be reminded of my personal truth. Do you have a favorite quote or an affirmation that helps you when you are not feeling your best? Post that on your mirror, door, wall, or refrigerator, whatever you know you will look at throughout the day. Our mind is a very powerful energy source for the bible says in Proverbs 23:7 (NASV) For as he thinks within himself, so he is.

Our spiritual well being helps us get through low energy times. An active prayer life and just making time for relaxation helps to renew the spirit and give us new found energy. I have gotten back in the word like I did several years ago as I was searching for my personal truth. I now study the word to nurture my soul. The life principles in the Bible give me insight on how to live my life day to day. I put my energy in being a child of GOD, a Christian whose life is a reflection of Christ's LOVE. Instead of always striving to be perfect, I have found peace with just being me. My focus has shifted from always being about my future to living each moment fulfilled day to day. I will continue to put my energy into activities I enjoy and will energize me. I will not go to places or spend time with people who zap my energy. When I want to stay home and rest on the weekends I honor that. Set your intentions to practice better habits of meditation, prayer, tasty healthy meals, getting rest and a desire to exercise. For what you put your energy into will manifest in your life!

Music Mondays: Mary Mary- Sitting With Me- (Something Big Album)

I have heard many songs that have touched me, but nothing deeper than "Sitting With Me" by Mary Mary. The second verse is about a man who is waiting for marriage to have sex. Just like me I was told it is unnatural to wait, I will miss out on life by waiting too long and no man will wait for sex until marriage. Feeling alone, I have spent many Friday nights by myself. But I am OK, I will carry the cross as long as the Lord is sitting with me! Know that you may have to spend some time alone as well. Like Apostle Paul live your life completely for GOD while you are single! While you give your heart and soul to GOD watch him answer your prayers:)

Here are the lyrics of the second verse. Enjoy!



They said he wasn't ordinary 'cause he wanted to be married
Before he let himself, be with someone else
They even said he was unnatural
What they didn't see, didn't see that he
He was much more man than they'd ever be
'Cause he was a man, of integrity
Just like me he was Mr. Unpopular,
Never asked to be part of the in-crowd
Everyone knew who he was
Cause his life screamed Jesus out loud

Yeah I've been, left out, looked over
Just for carrying the cross on my shoulder
It's okay with me, if I'm the last one who's picked for the team
I'll sit on the sideline, as long as He's sitting with me.

I know someday I'll shine, I'll wait 'til it's my time
Lord I won't move, I'll sit with you

Music Mondays: Chris Brown feat. Benny Benassi - Beautiful People

This video has given me life! Chris Brown has footage of him working with different artist in the music industry, private footage of himself and also his fans. My favorite verse is: "Your beauty is inside you...don't let them bring you down"! Allow that to inspire you this Monday morning:) Blessed day Beautiful People!

Forward Movement

The triskele is a Celtic symbol (in photo) that has a three- armed spiral which means dynamic forward movement- an endless cycle of growth and progression (One Spirit Book). The triskele symbol is to empower to the point of moving forward regardless if difficult to do so. As life becomes tough, by habit we may turn to our old way of being out of comfort. If our old habits keep us from living the life we desire, why is it so tough to move forward? I pledge to move forward as I welcome in the new season of spring. No looking back, only looking forward pushing past contentment and compliancy.

 

The ability to move forward takes action. It is no longer someone else's fault. We now must take responsibility for our owns well being. That is not easy. There is comfort in blame, shame, and guilt. When we look at our environment and say "If I lived in Texas I would be married right now". At some point in our lives we may have felt "If I was in a different family my life would have been so much better". The reality is this thought process is what keeps us stuck. We give ourselves little control by worrying about our families because we cannot change that. What we can do is own how we feel, deal with it, heal, and move forward.

 

My journey to move forward continues today. I understand minor setbacks totally different now. My setbacks no longer define who I am, but they give me clues about what GOD is trying to teach me. I allow myself to feel whatever it is I am feeling. Good or bad I now have the courage to speak my personal truth. If what I am feeling is bad I confront it and move forward. Staying in that place does nothing for your spirit. Holding on to past hurts and pains keeps you from being the best you can be today. We owe it to ourselves to get the support we need. So that we can move forward knowing we have the skills we need to be great.

 

The cycle of growth and progression is ongoing. A cycle is defined by a one complete occurrence of the event which repeats. Think of a tire constantly in motion, going forward. Growth is something that happens over time, it continues until your physical life ends. Lastly progression means forward or onward movement. In order to progress means to move on, but to be better than you were when you begin. Stay there for a minute. We cannot say we have made progressive movement if we are still holding on to old habits and thinking. Join me today as I embrace the spring. Looking forward to sunny skies in my life that I take responsibility to create and bring.

Music Mondays: Kirk Franklin - I Smile.wmv

I received a text from my cousin Sunday afternoon who said she heard "I Smile" by Kirk Franklin and it reminded her of me. I heard this song when it first came out, but at that time it did not hit me. See I talked to my cousin months ago about feeling sad(I also blogged about it) and going through a mild depression. But despite my sadness I still believed GOD was going to bring me through. Through the Winter I was nursing pain from family, work, and personal guilt. I knew that when the Spring came whatever I worked on in the Winter would come to full bloom in the Spring! So I worked over time on my healing by telling my truth! As soon as Spring Sunday morning I felt a release in my spirit! The dark clouds have moved and although their is darkness in the world I will be light!

"I Smile" speaks to me the way few other songs do! Kirk Franklin does that because our childhoods are similar so he understands pain, confusion, not feeling LOVED, and just simply being down. To go through all of that and to still smile is only GOD! Is that your testimony too? Listen to the lyrics of this song and let it heal as it did for me:)

Music Monday: KING-The Story

Yesterday on twitter producer 9th Wonder, Singers Erykah Badu and Lala Hathaway went crazy on twitter giving these girls LOVE. I had to listen to find out what the fuss was about. At first listen I was hooked and have had this song on repeat sense yesterday. Take a listen to three girls based out of LA, they have written and produced their own music. I am a firm believer in supporting the art of music. Please join me! Here is KING "The Story".

Courageous

Do you know the person who has all the best advice in the world but does not have the courage to live it themselves? You know the ones who will call you out for your shortcoming without having the courage to correct those same mistakes in themselves? I am sure like me you know someone who fits those two descriptions. Better yet, at some point in our lives that person was me and you. Through growth and being dead wrong I learned to be less judgmental and more compassionate. Remembering how flawed I am, I have less time and space to be concerned with anyone else.

 

In the bible it warns us of this type of pattern. The problem with this pattern is several things. One problem is that when we focus on everyone else's issues we loose focus on ourselves. Those of us who feel we have to give advice to everyone who comes in our path wither the person ask for advice or not is filling a void. That void is fear of dealing with our self! Stop and think about that for a minute. Is that you? Of course there is nothing wrong with giving advice under two circumstances. If the person asked for the advice or if you have the courage to live what you are saying!

 

The other problem with this pattern is ego. Ego is the part of who we are that needs to be validated by the world. The ego is that part of ourselves that has to show off what we know and come off as a "know it all". When the ego is involved no one learns anything! That is when we have to release ego and allow spirit to come in. You know when you have connected to Spirit because you no longer seek validation from the world. Spirit takes away the desire to prove others wrong and the need of approval. Spirit is an inner knowing that is within us that says I am okay as I am. That inner knowing also says to us what I do not like about myself I have the courage to correct before I find fault in or give advice to others.

 

Courage means the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery. The act of courage is a spiritual one. It is not just a physical quest, but one that takes mind and spirit. When we are feeling pain, confusion, doubt and fear it takes courage to pull ourselves out of that place. To lead the life that we desire takes courage. It is not easy, especially for folks like me who come from families with patterns of abuse and neglect. In negative environments you learn early to live a lie and shrink within yourself. Or one I heard everyday "there are no books on how to be a parent". At times we accept failure in ourselves, but are very critical when we see it in others. Recognize these patterns in your life and have the courage to change it like I have in my own life. Have the courage to be the change you want to see in the world.

Music Mondays: Mary Mary - I'm Walking NEW SINGLE!

I'm Walking by Mary Mary is my theme song right now. Back with a new single Mary Mary shows that walking with the Lord is not easy. It is a day to day process. My favorite line is "Cause I know that Jesus walks with me". Knowing who you are in Christ is half the battle! It does not matter who you are or what you have done, the Lord LOVES you and accepts you as you are!

To Teach

"We teach what we need to learn the most"~Oprah. As I watched the Oprah show when she made that statement I did not know how to receive it at first. I want to know what you think as well. Do we teach what we need to learn or do we teach what we already mastered within ourselves? I believe it is both. On one hand as we go through life and learn things along the way, we then share what we have learned or still learning with the rest of the world.

 

As a teacher I believe learning goes beyond the four walls in a classroom. And to teach is more than breaking down math to a class full of students. My theory is the world is a classroom. I am inspired to teach by different things I have been through and what I believe will help others. Even if what I teach is not received it is ok. It is ok because it came from my heart and for whoever it was for will get it, and for those that it was not meant for won't.

 

If it is believed that learning never stops, then that goes for teaching as well. As I write to you I am teaching myself. The things that GOD would have for me to master, I am sharing with you. I am not greater, smarter or more important than you. My mission when I teach is for us to understand that the work we require of others we have to first demand it of ourselves. Because what we teach is not always what we say or write, but how we live our lives. My passion as a teacher is to overcome the things I do not like about myself so I can be the person GOD has called me to be. That is my prayer for you as well.

 

So if Oprah's theory is correct and we teach what we need to learn the most than I am teaching joy, happiness, peace, tolerance and the freedom to be who I am with judging myself! What I also know is I teach what I have mastered. With hard work and Faith I am becoming more like Christ as I release the desire to be perfect and to be free! My prayer is that my life reflects that as well.

 

Adult Children of Alcoholics part 2: My Story

Alcoholism affected my family in so many ways. As you might imagine it tore us apart. The people who suffer the most are the ones who do not even drink. It is the children. I am the oldest of four siblings. I always said GOD gives us special gifts to help us cope with life's setbacks. My gift is compassion. Protecting my family was an honor. I worried when my grandmother drank and hoped me telling her how it hurts the family would make her stop. My brother and I fought often mainly because his behavior was disrespectful and I was not having it! Everyone had to live up to my unrealistic expectations, including myself!

The hero sometimes referred to as the model child is one of the four common roles played by children of alcoholics. It is usually the oldest. In the alcoholic family all the children play a role, for me I was the hero. I was the first of my mom's generation to graduate high school. I was the first in my grandparent's generation to finish college. I wanted to be the example. I hoped if I did the "right" thing I could encourage my family to do the same. What I learned was no matter how "perfect" I strived to be the only person I can save is me. Being "perfect" has taken its toll. And as I write to you today I am done!

I just came to the realization two weeks ago when a BELOVED family member wanted space from me. The little girl inside of me was upset. What do I have to do to prove I LOVE you, I asked myself? GOD said "Nothing, you already have. Now it is their turn to prove their LOVE to themselves". I release the patterns of my past. They no longer have control over me. I pray this for my family and other adult children raised by alcoholics. As kids we had no control, now we have control and it is with ourselves! YOU deserve happiness. YOU deserve to express sadness or anger without guilt or shame! You deserve a life that is healthy and full of people who want you to win. It is now up to YOU!

In photo:Me and my siblings Christmas 2010

Children of Alcoholics Awareness Week

Children are defenseless. They are rarely heard. That is why they need us. Children raised in an alcoholic home vulnerability to being a victim increases. Parents that are under the influence of alcohol have little to no control over their behavior which in turns harms themselves and their family. As a child you model the behavior of the parent. Children of alcoholics or COAs develop patterns of the alcoholic parent. Often times without even realizing it until they become adults.

 

According to studies there are an estimated 26.8 million COAs in the US. The number of children being raised by a substance addicted parent is significantly high. Child protective service agencies, welfare records have shown that substance abuse (including drugs) account for 81% of one of the two top problems of families reported. With more than a million cases have been reported of abuse and neglect to due substance abuse a year! COAs are two to four times more likely to become an addicted to alcohol than a child in a non alcoholic home.

 

What about the COAs who never drinks? They still will have addictive personalities due to the influence of the addicted care givers. This is why many COAs suffer alone. It is easy to spot an alcoholic, but not a child addicted to worry or fear. Or the super responsible and successful child who hopes being perfect would cure the alcoholic from their disease. At its worst the COA becomes extremely aggressive and even violent. COAs due to neglect and abuse have a greater chance of a life of crime and living a life feeling like an outsider. COAs are at greater risk of depression, anxiety disorder, guilt, shame, problems in school, and having dysfunctional relationships.

 

So what can you do? You can advocate for Children of Alcoholics by going to http://store.samhsa.gov/home and download pamphlets and posters. You can post the pamphlets up at local hospitals, churches, community centers, and schools. You can become a part of the life of a child who has been neglected and abused due to substance abuse. COAs who have the support of an adult studies have shown that makes a big difference in their lives. With the guidance of a teacher, family member, community friend COAs will gain the strength to be resilient. Help break down the barrier of shame, guilt, and feeling of being alone and give COAs a chance to live healthy, happy lives despite the problems they have in their own. Trust me from my own experience it makes a difference!

 

COAs often feel alone as I said before. When they interact with the world everyone appears "normal" but them. This is why when parents get intervention COAs need to get intervention as well. Therapy is very important for children being raised in abusive, neglected and addictive environments. The COA needs to know that they are not alone. Unfortunately there are other families who suffer as well. COAs need to know that there is help and how they can get it. National Association of Children of Alcoholics: http://www.nacoa.net/index.htm has information on how to help COAs and has information on how to educate others on this social issue. Also for children who are 11 years old and older can join a group called Alateen. Alateen is a part of the group Al-Anon that supports families and friends of alcoholics. Together we can restore hope, faith, and LOVE in children who lives have been broken.

 

 

 

 

 

National Children of Alcoholics Awareness Week

February 13-19 2011 is National Children of Alcoholics Awareness week. The mission is to bring to light an issue that has been in the dark. I have jumped on board because this issue hits home with me. My mother and my grandmother suffered from alcoholism for my whole childhood up until I was 22 years old! My childhood was robbed of LOVE, affection, attention, nurturing, stability, order, and care.

Nick News goes inside the lives of young people who tell their story. Meet four kids whose lives have been upside down due to alcoholism. We can all help by being aware and seeing the damage it does to our children who will one day be adults carrying years of pain in their hearts. If you want to see this episode on TV with your family tune in to Nick tonight at 6 p.m. EST, 5 p.m. CST, and 3 p.m. PST.

Nick News
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Music Mondays: Anita Baker - giving you the best that i've got

This week is Children Of Alcoholics awareness week. I am honoring my own childhood and Valentines Day by posting my favorite childhood LOVE song. Anita Baker is one of the reasons I dream of LOVE. Growing up in a home where no one said "I LOVE You" due to alcohol, I would listen to LOVE song over and over. I would dream one day someone would LOVE me like this. My favorite lyric of the song is Somebody understands me/ Somebody gave his heart to me/ I stumbled my whole life long/ Always on my own, now I'm home. That is my heart and soul in those lyrics! Today celebrate LOVE, not just with a LOVER, but your family and most importantly with you!

Random

Being positive takes effort, we choose to be positive. Even when faced with darkness positive people find their way out. Even positive people search for answers and dig deep to feel fulfilled in a time of hopelessness. No matter how positive you are, you will deal with darkness. So why don't we like to express this side of ourselves?

Reading magazines, flipping through channels on T.V., and walking through Boarders book store we are bombarded with "Be Your Best Self at Any Age", "21 Days to a Better You", "Loose that Weight and get That Date", and "Say Yes to the Dress". All these messages about when you are happier life is easier, better, secure always, and fun. While all those things are true, it is not guaranteed! It's no wonder everyone wants to pretend to be positive. It's attractive, alluring, and also misleading!

No one is happy all the time. Good things do come to an end. People do change and while it may be for the better it does not always feel like it is. Family issues will appear no matter how LOVING and support you strive to be. There are not always answers to our problems. Just because you LOVE what you do for a living does not mean you always want to do it. I say that to say enough already! If people would really LOVE who they are and be happy instead of putting on a mask than the life they pretend to have would be real!

 

Music Monday: Mint Condition - Caught My Eye (new single 2011)

I was raised on Mint Condition's music. I was in the 7th grade when Pretty Brown Eyes was released as a single. I have been a fan sense! Caught My Eye is another LOVE ballad from one of my favorite groups. Hope you enjoy:)

Winter and Depression

Winter brings thirty degree weather, snow every other week, and shorter days with longer nights. That gives us all the reason to not want to go outside. Some do not even want to get out of bed. The winter can be a depressing time of year. It can be a lonely time as we sit in our homes in isolation from the world. According to Dr. Michael Bernard he says the winter season calls for "introspective time", as we sit indoors we need to use this to our advantage. Instead of feeling the "winter blues" embrace the moment and listen to what Spirit wants from you in this season.

 

I have learned to listen to Spirit. It is the knowing within that soothes when you feel uncertain. In the moment I am afraid to speak up my Spirit says speak your truth. I would not know what that truth is without introspection. I am one of those few folks who actually enjoy being home on Saturday evenings alone. Spending time alone is a great way for us to have a deeper connection to who we are. What it is our soul yearns for will be clear when you sit and listen. For the bible speaks about listening for understanding. Mark 4:9 says: "Anyone who is willing to hear should listen and understand." We have to train our hearts and mind to listen not just for answers but also understanding. Understanding of what GOD is saying to you, now, in the moment.

 

Through introspection I have learned that during this winter season I feel low. It is easy for me to cancel plans and just decide to stay home. I can't seem to get enough sleep and all I crave are sweets. Striving to lose weight, craving sweets and not being motivated to work out is not a feeling anyone wants to have. Through prayer and meditation I have learned to be kind to myself. To give myself what I want and move on! If my body says I want a day off from a work out? Ok, done. When I crave sweets instead of beating myself up like I did in the past I go and get what I want. Is it every day? NO, of course not, but taking the time to listen to my body I treat it good. When it needs a boost of energy I have a great workout. That's my sign I made the right choice. Last week I pushed myself to work out when I was tired and I had to sit down because my head started to spin. My lesson was not to just listen, but understand that I am not a machine.

 

Seasonal Affective Disorder also known as SAD is a disorder diagnosed in people who feel depressed during the winter season. It is said to start around the end of fall and last until the spring. Symptoms of this disorder are lack of energy, increase need for sleep, craving sweets, and weight gain. Research shows that this pattern begins in the fall and peak during the winter. By the spring mild symptoms will go away. Servere symptoms are depression where there is a lack of motivation to get out of the bed. When SAD is at its worst people have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. About 70-80% of SAD victims are women, and in most cases in their thirties.

 

If any of those systems describes how you feel this winter then seek help. In mild cases you can do introspection by meditation and prayer. I started a candle lighting prayer and meditation for myself this winter. All the lights are out in my apartment and the only light is glowing from one candle. That helps me to get my heart, mind and spirit on one accord. It also slows my body and mind down so I can try to get a good rest. To help me wake up I am going to begin to use a bright light by my bed to give me the boost I need for the day. You can read books on subjects that are related to your symptoms. To be empowered is to be informed! Use this winter season to be self aware. Instead of running from the dark, go towards it. What is it you fear? Confess what you feel and watch your life begin to heal. What are your dreams? What does your heart desire? Write down your revelations about yourself and your new outlook on the world.

In severe cases (mild if you feel the need) see a Dr. Describe your symptoms so you can get help. There are different types of therapies and know you are not alone! Get a counselor and tell them what you have noticed about yourself sense the seasons have changed. Being depressed, feeling low, or simply feeling hopeless does not have to take over your life! Strive to find joy in your darkest hour. Of course everyone wants it to be spring because most of us can not deal with life when it gets dark. We want the success that comes with coming out of the dark, but not the heart ache and pain it takes to go through it! Know my brothers and sisters that what we invest ourselves in during the winter will manifest in the spring!

Music Mondays

David Hollister's song "Glow" from his 2008 Witness Protection CD reminds us how we have to use our light in dark places. GOD wants to use our life! Let your greatness shine where ever you go! Do not be afraid to glow!!!

Music Mondays