Revolving Door

I was a woman with daddy issues so I have been very accommodating in relationships.  My revolving door relationship with my father has affected my relationships with men.  My father has been in and out of my life since I was a baby.  Spinning me in circles emotionally coming in and out of my life.

I finally have had enough.  I haven't spoken to my father in years and suddenly I get a greeting card from him this past summer. The card I received from my father was him apologizing to me for the time we had lost and making promises he doesn't keep.  And like in true Tasha fashion I let him back in.  Only for him to continue to act like I am a hindrance to his life cause he can't find time for me.  See, he remarried and has kids.  They see him and get love daily while I pine for him and beg for call backs.

After allowing my father another chance to be in my life I began to do a lot of reflection.  My addiction to pain keeps me going back to dead end situations.  I had to finally face my own truth.  Sorrow and neglect became my love language.  The more detached he is the more I want to save a man.

Going into the new year I wanted to stop this pattern.  No one will be allowed to leave and come back in my life any more.  I will love you and hope for the best, I'm no longer the angry black girl with daddy issues.  I am healing and seeking a mutual satisfying love life.  We will not constantly argue but discuss differences.  We will seek solution not run away.  This time I am loving my own way.  Letting anyone go for good who doesn't want to stay.  I no longer have an open door policy.  I will gladly open the door for you to go if you can live a life without me actively apart of it, just know the door will be closed behind you for good.